I hugged Kasey and cried for a long time. So long that my consciousness began to blur, and my thoughts drifted back to when he was punished by Kasey's dad as a child, kneeling. I swore to protect the boy in front of me.
Before my consciousness completely faded, I felt someone gently hold my face, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. I seemed to have been picked up, and in my groggy state, I could vaguely hear Kasey talking to someone.
Jocelyn? Was he talking about me?
When I woke up again, I almost thought I had been kidnapped.
"Kasey, can we talk?"
Kasey remained unmoved, and then brought over a bowl of honey water: "Drink this first, then we'll talk."
I obediently took it, preparing to ask, "I didn't do anything after I got drunk yesterday, right?" Upon hearing this, Kasey's face stiffened, and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks.
I was startled.
Hold on a second, big guy, do you know how easy it is to misinterpret that kind of reaction?
Kasey rubbed his forehead. "Why do you think I tied you up?"
Okay, I get it now, he's answering me.
Kasey sat down beside me. Just as he settled, I stared at him and said something shocking: "Did I harass you?"
Kasey's eyes widened in surprise. He didn't expect me to be so straightforward, and for a moment, he couldn't respond, his ears turning a little red.
I casually finished the honey water, looked at him, and smiled: "I think you're the one who needs to drink this honey water."
I was sober now, but Kasey seemed to still be a little drunk from whatever he had been drinking. He looked a bit dazed.
"Then, can you share a little with me?"
Huh?
I glanced at the empty bowl, still processing his words, when Kasey already reached over and pulled me into his arms. Our faces were so close, just a few centimeters apart, and the scent of honey mixed with alcohol filled my nostrils. He looked at me with flushed cheeks, and his Adam's apple moved as he silently asked, "Aren't you going to close your eyes?"
I laughed at his question, "How are you so cute?"
Then, under his stunned gaze, I lightly wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him.
Kasey froze for a moment, his eyelashes fluttering, his heart seemingly skipping a beat. He then placed one hand at the back of my neck, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss.
It wasn't until I was almost out of breath that Kasey let go of me, immediately holding me tightly in his arms. His warm breath brushed against my ear as he whispered, "I really missed you."
I hugged him back, ruffling his messy hair. "You idiot, I think you wanted to say, 'I really like you.'"
I hugged him back and ruffled his fluffy hair. "Idiot, are you trying to say that I like you a lot?"
"...Mm."
"I do too."
---
Kasey had been wandering with his mother since he was little. It was said that the original owner of the cabin had passed away, and without caring about others' opinions, they moved here, which was how he got a somewhat incomplete home.
In his world, his mother was always drunk. After each drinking session, she would yell at him, leaving behind a mess. Without a source of income at home, he worked as a child laborer. At the age of seven or eight, he was already earning a bit of money by repairing bikes and washing dishes.
But his mother had a bad reputation, and people in the area didn't welcome them. Some local bullies would pick on Kasey, and when he fought back, he'd be beaten even worse. Every time he came back to the cabin covered in wounds, his mother would only ask how much money he earned, frowning when she saw his injuries, calling him a "good-for-nothing."
She didn't know that was all he had left to hold on to.
Naturally, his family couldn't afford to send him to school, but his mother still bought him a few textbooks for him to study. He always thought his mother loved him, but the hardships of life made her love seem insignificant.
Until one day, she came home happy, patted his head, and said, "You're such a good boy."
It was the first time she didn't call him a "good-for-nothing."
He got into a luxury car, thinking that his life had finally seen the light. But then he suddenly realized he was an illegitimate child, and his mother was the one who had ruined someone else's family.
The "father" who had come to pick him up was only doing so because he could no longer have children, so he had settled for Kasey instead.
His mother had exchanged his whereabouts for a large sum of money, negotiating that, at least, she had let him go to school and that money should be added.
Kasey then realized how redundant he was to the world.
I had heard Kasey's dad mention bits and pieces of this story, but hearing it from the person himself was a different experience. His tone was light, pretending to be indifferent, which only made it more heart-wrenching.
No wonder he didn't know how to fight back when Malik and the others bullied him multiple times when he first arrived. No wonder, even though he's two grades above me, there are still so many things he doesn't understand like I do. And no wonder he always rejects other people's kindness.
Everything seemed to have a source.
I then understood: it wasn't that he didn't believe I liked him, it was that he didn't believe he deserved to be loved.
I cupped his face in my hands, gazing into his red eyes, and kissed him gently: "Kasey, you're the person I like the most. You're not redundant at all."
I spent several days with Kasey in the cabin. He was sensitive and lacked security. He still worried that I might suddenly stop liking him and want to leave. Yet, he also thought that I deserved all the best things, and letting go might be the best choice for me. But he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
If this had been before, he would've kept all of these little thoughts to himself, and I would've never understood his cryptic feelings.
But now, perhaps even he himself hasn't realized, he has already opened his heart to me. The cold expression that used to be so consistent is now replaced with clear worry, written all over his face. How could I not notice?
But my Kasey, as outstanding as he is, shining with brilliance, is still trapped by his childhood, confined to the small wooden house of his inner world, unwilling to believe in himself.
So, I can only accompany him, to feel the beauty of this world together.
"I have to go, Kasey."
I opened the door of the wooden house, light streaming in, casting onto the wooden floor.
"Do you want to come with me?"
"Okay."
---
The college entrance exam results came out, and my scores were just enough to get into the top university in the province, which also happened to be Kasey's school.
I might as well ask him straight out, "Your grades back then could've gotten you into a better school, so why did you choose this one?"
"Because you're here."
