Kasey successfully got into the best university in the province. With his grades, he should have been able to attend a better university.
But this was his choice. No one knew what he was thinking, so all I could do was wish him well.
As for the events of the day after the college entrance exams, I didn't ask, and he didn't bring it up. Our last contact was limited to that stiff "Congratulations" and "Thank you."
But life goes on. All those years of companionship and feelings—guess they were all for nothing.
So, I turned all my sadness into pressure and threw myself into my studies. Only by keeping myself busy could I avoid having time to overthink.
Pablo sighed repeatedly when he saw me: "A woman who's been dumped is really scary."
I snapped at him, "Shut up." Can't you read the mood?
But even though Pablo had a big mouth, he was really a good guy. He would always find ways to bring me snacks to replenish my energy.
It wasn't until later that I realized those snacks were actually slipped to him by other girls, hidden in his desk.
Damn!
In the end, I became a human shield.
Under my constant urging, Pablo also started taking his studies more seriously. The New Year before the college entrance exams was filled with lights, and fireworks lit up the sky.
Pablo made a wish and shouted to the sky, "I want to get into college, and you have to be happy forever!"
The faint sparks of starlight reflected in his eyes, making them shine even brighter. I smiled widely and said, "Of course, I'll be happy forever."
I closed my eyes, softly making a wish: "May all wishes be fulfilled." I wish you, I wish me, and I also wish the people who are not here at this moment.
---
After the college entrance exams, my birthday was just around the corner. I organized a group of people to go out and play, and once I picked up a glass, it didn't leave my hand.
Pablo frowned, seemingly sensing something off about my mood. "Aren't you happy?" I smiled and said, "No, I'm really happy." But actually, I wasn't. People always say the opposite of what they feel.
A few days ago, I saw someone at Kasey's house. She had slightly curly hair, wore a baseball cap, and was the girl I had seen when I went to pick up Kasey.
Right after, his dad opened the door, and the two of them started arguing, eventually parting on bad terms.
I couldn't shake the thought.
It turned out she was Kasey's biological mother, well-maintained, looking like a college student in her twenties. Years ago, she had abandoned Kasey for money, not caring about his feelings.
And this time, she was back for money.
His dad noticed me, sighed, and then told me all about Kasey's past, asking me to take some time to talk to him and try to help him out.
I guess that woman must have said something to him.
That's when I realized that I didn't really understand him. I thought his aloof, cold demeanor was just his personality, but I didn't know that before he came to live with Kasey's dad, just surviving was enough of a struggle for him.
He always kept everything bottled up inside, never saying anything. The more someone was close to him, the more he was afraid of losing them.
But Kasey, all you're doing is pushing the people who care about you further away. You're such an idiot."
Alcohol amplified my emotions, and it felt like a heavy stone was pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe.
I could only keep drinking to numb myself. Slowly, my friends started leaving, and in a daze, I thought I saw Kasey. He looked like he was carrying some sort of low pressure around him.
What a rare sight.
In previous years, Kasey never showed up for my birthday. He only sent gifts through Kasey's dad.
"Two years, and you finally show up." I must've been drunk, sarcastically saying that while almost tearing up.
"How did you know I was here?"
"You're drunk."
Kasey reached out to pull me, but I dodged him. "What's it to you? Didn't you tell me not to bother you?"
I staggered to my feet, the world spinning. Even Kasey in front of me seemed to blur into multiple figures. I shook my head, barely able to focus.
"Where's Pablo? I want to find Pablo."
I thought to myself that I must've been drunk, my heart full of grievance, stubbornly wanting to leave this place. I stumbled a couple of steps, almost bumping into the corner of the table. Then, a hand pulled me back and into an embrace.
The hug was so heavy it made my ribs hurt. Kasey seemed to sigh.
"Jocelyn, I really missed you."
The emotions he had been hiding all came rushing out at that moment.
