Carlee, my child... I only had him for a few days.
The baby must be angry with me for not being a good mother, for not protecting him, and now no matter how I sleep, he doesn't come to me in my dreams.
I was wrong.
What I couldn't hold on to was something I shouldn't have tried to keep.
When I think of Cornelius, I've let go.
Mr. Craig told me that Cornelius found out the accident wasn't an accident.
I was momentarily shocked, but I didn't feel much emotion, only smiling bitterly, thinking his parents could finally rest in peace.
And Cornelius's hatred for me, should it be over now?
On the fifth day of my hospitalization, Cornelius finally came to see me.
When I saw his face again, my emotions were surprisingly flat.
He looked exhausted, his eyes no longer cold, but careful and helpless.
He kneeled by my hospital bed, trembling as his hand reached for my face, and I slightly turned my head to avoid it.
"Cornelius, have I atoned for my sins?"
"Carlee..."
"Let's get a divorce. I agree to it."
The sunlight outside the window was blinding.
Cornelius covered his face, and I could hear his sobs seeping through his fingers.
I looked at him, as if we were worlds apart.
It felt like we were both wrong, and yet neither of us was at fault.
While watching the sunset by the window, Cornelius suddenly hugged me tightly from behind.
His heartbeat was like thunder against my back.
I thought back to the day of the accident, how much I had wished he would hug me like this.
At the grave, I wished he would hold my hand.
He buried his head in my neck, repeating, "I'm sorry, Carlee..."
I didn't turn around, and I couldn't break free from him. I just softly said, "Cornelius, let me go."
There was no future for us.
He said, "Carlee, I brought you a strawberry cake."
"Carlee, when you're better, I'll take you diving!"
He said, "Carlee, let's go home."
As soon as I was discharged, Cornelius took me back home.
But as I stood at the door, I suddenly felt estranged and even repelled by the place.
He opened the door and gently called me.
I saw the stairs I had fallen down and the sofa where he and Greta had sat. I softly said, "Cornelius, no matter how clean this house is, the traces will always remain."
It turned out, I could never stop caring.
Cornelius froze for a moment.
After a long pause, he hurriedly reached out and pulled me into his arms, his voice trembling slightly.
"I'm sorry, Carlee! I... I didn't consider this, but if you like it here, I'll buy a new house. I'll get it done quickly!"
It was strange, but when I decided to let go, it felt like he loved me even more.
The next morning, Cornelius took me to the house in the suburbs. He left early, and I didn't know when he came back. When I opened my eyes, I found him asleep on the sofa.
To avoid the divorce, he became overly cautious.
I brought a blanket and covered him.
I hadn't seen him sleep like this in a long time.
There were countless mornings when I would wake up in his arms, and I liked quietly watching him.
Looking at his beautiful brows, his side profile, just like the eighteen-year-old golden-haired boy I once knew.
Without thinking, I reached out to smooth the frown that remained even in his sleep.
In the next second, he opened his eyes and grabbed my hand.
Our gazes locked, neither of us able to understand the emotions in the other's eyes.
As he slowly got up, about to kiss me, I pulled away.
"Have a good rest," I said.
A flash of hurt crossed his eyes, but he didn't let go of my hand.
His voice was filled with desperation. "Stay with me, please?"
"Carlee, don't leave me."
It turned out, he really had bought a new house that day.
It was a top-floor apartment by the river. When Cornelius brought me there, the sunset was just passing through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and the gentle light filled the living room.
Cornelius led me to one of the rooms.
It was spacious, filled with art supplies.
He told me this was my new studio.
But I wasn't as happy as he had hoped.
He noticed and carefully asked if I didn't like it.
I told him, "I don't want to paint anymore."
He had thrown away my paintbrushes with his own hands.
He panicked. "Don't like it? Do you still want to go abroad? I'll go with you, I'll do whatever you want..."
"Cornelius," I interrupted him, "Don't you understand? I don't want to paint anymore!"
After a moment of silence, Cornelius spoke slowly, "Do you... do you no longer love me?"
I couldn't answer.
How could I not love him?
But my love couldn't cover the nightmares of the past.
Those nightmares were always between us, unresolved and unforgettable.
For the following days, Cornelius stayed at the company.
He hired someone to take care of me at home, and I was always followed when I went out.
I knew he was avoiding me, yet afraid I might leave.
He called me and asked if there was anything I wanted to do.
As long as I said I wanted him, he would drop everything to be with me.
He didn't return until half a month later.
I closed my computer, and he stood awkwardly at the door, like a child who had done something wrong.
I could smell the alcohol on him.
"Did you drink?"
He didn't answer, but quickly walked over and pulled me into his arms, his voice muffled as he said, "I missed you so much, Carlee."
I slowly reached up and hugged him back, feeling his body shudder lightly before he pulled me even closer.
His breath on my neck was ragged and hot.
"Carlee, you missed me too, didn't you?"
My face pressed against his chest, and almost involuntarily, I whispered, "Mm."
I could hear Cornelius's heartbeat racing, overwhelming me.
In the next moment, he swept me off my feet and placed me on the bed, then leaned over, pinning me down in a way that I couldn't escape.
"Carlee, I'm so happy..."
"Tell me I'm not dreaming."
"Is this really Carlee...?"
A tear fell onto my neck, and I reached up to touch the corner of his eye, already wet.
I didn't answer him. I gently lifted my head and placed a kiss on his lips.
His Adam's apple moved, and our fingers intertwined.
His lingering kiss moved from my forehead to my nose, to my cheek.
When it reached my lips, it was like a storm had suddenly swept over the still lake.
It was an outpouring of love that could no longer be restrained...
Before dawn, I woke up.
Cornelius held me tightly from behind.
For a moment, I wanted to stay by his side forever.
To see him the moment I opened my eyes, like today.
But I couldn't.
He slept soundly, and I slipped out, kissing his forehead.
Goodbye, Cornelius.
Or maybe... we will never meet again.
