We once loved each other deeply.
Before my father jumped from the 28th floor, we were deeply in love.
Even after his father's betrayal, he secretly came to me, planning to steal secrets and save my family's company.
—Until my father leaped to his death.
That was when Thaddeus and I fell into the endless abyss with no resolution.
"I know you hate me," he said, his voice trembling slightly, staring into my eyes.
"But Irene, I really want to be with you... From when we were little, I always thought of you as my wife. I can't imagine you marrying someone else."
"You can call me obsessive, irrational, or whatever. If you marry me, I'll cover your mother's medical expenses, find the best doctors for her treatment. You can do whatever you want. I won't interfere."
"But if we are to marry, I must have something to ensure you stay with me."
"Ensure I stay with you?"
I repeated his words, suddenly feeling an inappropriate urge to laugh.
---
I felt a little tired:
"Will we really be happy if you trap me?"
"We're already impossible, Thaddeus. When will you understand?"
"I want to leave you, I want to break free. I don't want revenge. I don't even want to think about my father's death anymore... Please forget about all the mess between us. I just want to live a good life for myself."
I've spent a lifetime consumed by hatred.
This time, I don't want to care about hatred. I don't want to care who's right or wrong. I don't even want to think about my father's death.
I just want to live well, just for myself.
"Please stop deliberately ignoring the contradictions between us... You're so smart, you understand me better than anyone. You know I won't forgive you."
"Let me go, and you'll be letting yourself go too. Isn't that better?"
Thaddeus stared at me for a long time, his eyes red.
The dry air from the air conditioner swept across, and neither of us spoke. After a long while, I asked him:
"Have you thought it through?"
"I've thought it through."
He turned his head, avoiding my gaze, stubbornly saying, "I don't want to be apart from you."
I froze for a moment, then bitterly smiled."It's still useless..."
I had explained everything, but he still couldn't let go.
---
"If reason doesn't work, then let's stop talking about it", I firmly told him:
"I've decided to go abroad, take my mother to see a doctor."
"You—"
"I'm informing you, not asking for your opinion."
"I'll borrow money from my uncles. They'll lend it to me, and you can't stop it."
"Thaddeus, you don't really have anything left to threaten me with, do you?"
If I weren't still considering his feelings, trying to avoid making things too awkward between us, I wouldn't have spent so long explaining things to him.
It's no use reasoning with someone who's already doomed. I won't convince him anymore.
Leaving the hospital, I stopped at a pharmacy near my home, bought birth control pills, and swallowed them with water.
Thaddeus looked at me, words on the tip of his tongue, but he stopped himself.
I smiled, "You're not still fantasizing that we could have a child, are you?"
"Wake up. Stop dreaming."
His gaze dimmed. As I was about to head upstairs, he suddenly called out to me.
"If I sever ties with my parents, Irene, will you give me a chance?"
I stopped in my tracks, closed my eyes wearily for a moment.
"No."
"Thaddeus, stop playing around."
The bloodline between parents isn't something that can be casually severed... He was as childish as a child who never grew up.
