We silently headed home together.
The chain of events behind this marriage became clearer with every step, and now, as I looked at this luxurious and elegant villa, I no longer felt the excitement I once had when I first moved into a big house.
I suddenly felt oppressed, like this house, this marriage, were cages trapping me.
Then I thought about the apartment I bought for James. It was on the top floor, with a huge terrace that overlooked the lush trees of the southern suburbs.
— Spacious.
The words suddenly popped into my head.
I followed Icarus inside, pretending to be calm.
Ismael had already been picked up by the nanny and was sitting on the carpet, playing with building blocks.
When he saw me, he excitedly jumped up and shouted, "Mom!"
I patted his head, wanting to pick him up, but Icarus stopped me.
He had the nanny take the child away.
"What are you doing?" I asked, confused.
Icarus looked serious. He took my hand and sat me down on the sofa, then asked, very seriously and earnestly:
"Lavinia, do you still want to stay with me?"
I was surprised: "Are you willing to divorce me?"
Icarus suddenly fell silent.
His thin lips were tightly pressed together, his expression turning suddenly fierce.
I understood.
It wasn't that he had come to terms with it and was respecting my decision to divorce. Instead, he wanted me to truly agree to stay with him. If I didn't want to...The outcome probably wouldn't be pleasant.
I remembered what Icarus had said at the beginning.
"I'll kill that bastard outside."
Even though I didn't know him well, there was a voice in my head telling me he really could do something like that.
I was silent for a moment before asking him:
"Since you never gave me a choice, why are you even asking?"
Icarus trembled as he covered my eyes, his voice full of sadness and despair as he asked:
"Lavinia, how did we end up like this?"
"You should ask the version of me before I lost my memory."
"I did ask."
He gave a bitter smile: "But you didn't say anything. You just looked at me sarcastically, saying I didn't deserve your love."
His tone was helpless, full of sadness. He really had no idea what to do with me anymore.
I was puzzled too.
I wasn't mute. Why didn't I say anything?
When my best friend asked, I didn't answer.
When Icarus asked, I didn't answer.
What could be so hard to speak of, hidden deep in my heart, that it slowly wore me down into this hysterical, resentful woman?
I shook my head. "I really don't know."
I touched Icarus's face.
"Maybe it's something very serious and sad. But don't think too much about it."
"At least now I know there's nothing in this situation that can't be forgiven."
I grabbed his hand, our fingers intertwining.
"We should be able to live well together, shouldn't we?"
He was silent for a moment, then suddenly spoke.
"Then you need to cut ties with James."
"He..."
I touched my nose, feeling a little guilty.
"Don't worry, I haven't had any real relationship with him. I'll definitely handle it... I'm sorry."
No matter what, I was the one who had betrayed this marriage first.
When Icarus heard the "I'm sorry," his eyes filled with a mist of tears.
He lay in my arms, choking up once again.
"Lavinia, do you know? I've been waiting for you to come home, waiting for so many years."
"Every time I sent you a message, asking if you were coming back, if you were happy, you'd reply with a 'no,' or sometimes you'd ignore me completely..."
"I'd wait for you on the couch until late at night, and every time I thought about you being with that bastard, I nearly went crazy."
His eyes were red and swollen, filled with tears, and he bit softly at the tender flesh of my neck. It sent tingling waves through me, and it hurt a bit.
My heart softened, and I felt a pang of guilt, reaching out to pat his back.
