In my first year of college, I had a boyfriend named Jaeden. I introduced him to my grandfather.
My grandfather said he was a good boy and told me to treat him well.
He also said that I was growing up and needed some nice dresses. If I dressed too shabbily, people would look down on me.
So, my grandfather continued to collect scraps behind my back.
I had told him not to go scavenging because he was old, and I was worried about him.
It was during that deep winter, five years ago.
He was carrying a burlap sack in the park when he was knocked down by a dog that wasn't on a leash.
He fell to the ground, unconscious, and was taken to the hospital.
The dog that hit him was the one Skyla talked about, worth ten thousand.
On the day of the collision, my grandfather was sent to the intensive care unit due to a fractured cervical vertebra and spinal cord damage, which left him paralyzed.
The hospital required a lot of money, so I went to Skyla to ask for money.
She stood in front of me, haughtily saying, "You're my brother's girlfriend, right? Didn't find money from my brother, so you're coming to me?"
"My dog was hit by that old man and broke its leg, and I haven't even asked you for money.
"You're all worthless. You deserve to die."
I couldn't hold back, I really couldn't.
At the time, I was pregnant and weak, and I got into a fight with Skyla.
Skyla picked up a knife from the table and slashed at my face.
In the struggle, I accidentally stabbed him.
I was reported and arrested. I didn't want to go, I still had my grandfather in the hospital, but no one listens to a murderer.
I kept shouting Jaeden and Niko's names, hoping they would save my grandfather.
But they were both gathered around Skyla, comforting her as she cried.
While I was detained, I heard that my grandfather had been in the ICU for fifteen days and then discharged.
Then he went home and drank poison and died.
That day, lying on the cold ground, I miscarried.
I didn't manage to save my grandfather, nor the child I was carrying.
While I was in prison, Skyla came to see me and whispered in my ear.
"My dog usually listens. Guess why your grandfather was knocked down."
Dogs don't understand anything, but people do. People's hearts are too dirty.
Skyla didn't like me, perhaps because I took her brother away, or maybe because Niko and I grew up together.
I killed my grandfather. If I hadn't been with Jaeden, Skyla wouldn't have harmed him.
I'm not obedient, I'm not a good girl, I'm trash.
I don't want fancy hair clips, I don't want dresses, I don't want Jaeden. Can Grandpa come back?
When I left prison, I was still a bit lost.
The sky was vast, surrounded by towering buildings. Looking at the snowfall, I didn't know where to go.
Grandpa is gone, I have no home to return to.
I aimlessly walked the streets, thinking about finding a job that included food and lodging, taking it step by step.
When I was tired, I found a step to sit on.
People passed by, and when a child walked by, I looked a little longer.
In prison, you don't see children. If my child had survived, he or she would be calling me "Mom" and snuggling in my arms now.
Perhaps because I looked at them too much, the child's mother became unhappy and started scolding me.
I apologized and walked away with my head down.
The child's father tried to calm her down, but it led to an argument between the couple. The child's mother, agitated, yelled, "You're protecting her just because she's pretty."
She reached out and slapped me, but I blocked it and didn't retaliate.
The situation escalated, and just as the child's mother was about to slap me again, a figure stepped in front of me.
Niko had found me. He stood in front of me and grabbed the wrist of the woman who had struck me.
"Lady, hitting someone's face could lead to detention and a fine."
Seeing Niko intervene, I turned to leave quickly.
But Niko grabbed me.
He was still the same, the law school big shot, upright and fair. His clear, bright eyes gazed at me as he asked,
"Why didn't you look for me after you were released?"
"Why would I look for you? I hurt your goddess, and I'm afraid you still want to take revenge on me." I looked at him with a hint of sarcasm.
"Desirae, the law is the law. You served your time for hurting someone, but now that you've repented, we can still be friends like before, and I'll take care of you," Niko said seriously.
I lifted my head and said, "I don't need you, Niko. You'd better go back and protect your goddess, Skyla. If I see her, I'm afraid I might still lash out."
"I don't believe you. You didn't retaliate when you were slapped just now. You don't want to go back to prison, do you?" Niko held onto my wrist.
Actually, I wasn't surprised that Niko found me. He's always been quick-witted since he was young. If he couldn't wait for me, he wouldn't just sit idly by—he'd find ways to locate me.
Five years have passed, and Niko seems to have changed a lot. The youthful vigor he once had has gradually faded, replaced by a maturity and sharpness honed by time.
I didn't feel like dealing with Niko. I didn't even want to say a word to him. Who argues with a lawyer?
I shook my head, freed myself from his grasp, and walked forward in silence.
Niko silently followed behind me.
