When I left work, Elliot's car was already parked by the roadside.
I thought about it and got in.
"I fired her."
In the stifling space, he spoke.
I sighed. "You actually did it. I thought you liked her a lot."
Elliot pulled at the corner of his mouth.
"I wouldn't say I really liked her. She was just a toy I kept around."
"So why did you protect her when I made such a fuss?"
As soon as I asked, I understood.
Elliot didn't necessarily like her that much; he protected her because he saw my fuss as harmless.
What did it matter if I made a fuss? At most, I'd cry at home like a forsaken wife for a few days.
I wouldn't leave him.
And now that he realized I was really going to divorce him, he was afraid.
Elliot lit a cigarette, and smoke filled the small car.
He leaned back in his seat, his eyes obscured by the white mist.
"Nicole, we've been through thick and thin together; there's no need for things to turn out this way.
"No matter how many women I play around with outside, none of them can replace you. We mean something different to each other, don't we?"
"Elliot, you're shameless," I said calmly.
"What else?"
He exhaled a puff of smoke, his eyes narrowing in a mocking smile, as if ridiculing my naivety and foolishness.
"Men are all like this, Nicole."
"At first, I wanted to be with you properly, but later I found that I couldn't resist.
"Those women would throw themselves at me. I could resist once, twice, but ten times, eight times, a hundred times?"
He glanced sideways, the gold frames of his glasses flashing.
"Do you think that boy wouldn't be like this?
"Nicole, I'm a man, and I understand men best. In the end, we're all the same."
I leaned back in the seat and said softly:
"No, Elliot."
"Don't compare yourself to him, you're not worthy."
Elliot froze for a moment, then his fingers tightened, snapping the cigarette.
"What did you say?"
I looked at him, my face expressionless.
"People are different from animals. People are people because they can control their actions.
"If you act like a horny male dog, mounting anything in sight, what's the difference between you and an animal?
"I want to be with a human, a normal person who can be faithful in marriage, not an animal."
This time, Elliot was silent for a long while.
Until the orange tip of the cigarette burned his hand, he seemed to snap out of it.
"What if I don't look for other women from now on?"
He lowered his head without looking at me:
"Nicole, we've been together for so many years.
"I admit, I really can't live without you.
"I'll try to change. Can you give us another chance?"
It was rare to hear such words from Elliot.
Before, he would tirelessly brainwash me:
"Men are all like this.
"Men have to socialize, it's just a performance."
"They won't affect you. Why do you care so much?"
He was certain I wouldn't leave, so he never needed to care about my feelings.
His words would torment me late into the night, cutting me to shreds in a self-inflicted agony.
Now, he was actually telling me that he would settle down from now on.
I believed that Elliot was sincere in this moment.
He was a man who despised lying. Sometimes, I even wished he would lie to me, so I wouldn't feel so pitifully real.
A message came in.
I opened it, it was from Neil.
"Tomorrow is my graduation party. Everyone else can bring girlfriend. Do I get to?"
I couldn't help but curve my lips upward.
Neil always tried to make our relationship public, especially after that day. He couldn't help himself, wanting to stick by my side 24 hours a day.
Clearly, he was so handsome and outstanding, with no shortage of young girls surrounding him.
Really… I'm finding myself liking him more and more.
I opened the car door and gave Elliot a smile.
"No, thanks. I've already found the person I want to be with."
In the luxurious car, there was a pane of glass between Elliot and me.
He sat in the dissipating smoke, his expression indistinct.
He seemed to say something.
Unfortunately, it was too far away, and I couldn't hear clearly.
