I was sent back to the hospital.
I was sick.
Severe depression and a severe case of delusional disorder.
Charlie stood at the doorway of the ward, instructing the doctor, "Don't let her go out alone anymore."
Lying in the hospital bed, I suddenly felt a long scar on my abdomen.
In a daze, I recalled many things.
After Orion died, I was diagnosed with depression and had injured myself.
Charlie came to visit me at home and happened to witness this scene, rushing me to the hospital.
During that period, the nurse who cared for me had the most trouble figuring out how to persuade me to take my medication.
She was probably a young nurse who had recently graduated, and there were several times she became frustrated.
"Elara, the dead cannot be brought back to life."
"If he were here, he'd definitely want you to cooperate with your treatment, wouldn't he?"
I buried my head in the blankets and said through sobs:
"Then bring him back to life."
She didn't say anything for a long time.
Silently, she placed the medication on the bedside table and left helplessly.
I don't know how long it was before someone sat down by my bed.
It was my roommate in the neighboring bed.
She was very young, appearing not yet of age.
"Miss, actually, my situation is similar to yours."
"My boyfriend drowned while saving a drowning girl."
She said it with a smile, but the sadness in her eyes betrayed her.
"Under normal circumstances."
"I might never be able to move on in this lifetime."
"People around me keep telling me."
"Don't get trapped."
"But I really didn't."
She paused, her voice choking: "I stayed by choice."
Afterwards, she often came over to talk to me.
Though most of the time, she was the only one talking.
She shared some interesting stories with me and talked about the novels she had read recently.
It was a rainy spring day.
"Miss, I've been reading system novels lately."
"Hmm, if I were a player and succeeded in my mission."
"Could I bring the dead back to life?"
My eyes welled up with tears.
The wound on my heart, which hadn't yet formed a scab, was sliced open again by a sharp blade.
Yes.
If only there were systems in this world.
If only succeeding in a mission could really bring Orion back to life.
So, I constructed a new world in my mind.
In this new mental world, I was a player, and I had a system.
To complete the mission and revive Orion, I needed a target to pursue.
But I couldn't develop feelings for anyone else.
That's why Nathaniel looked exactly like Orion.
And I used him to revive Orion. Even if it was just a virtual object, he should hate me.
That's why pursuing him was so difficult.
Finally, after completing the mission, Orion really came back to life.
I ran out of the hospital and flew to abroad alone to continue our unfinished trip.
Because I was always alone.
That's why the boatman refunded the extra money to me.
From beginning to end —
there was no system, no mission.
There was no Nathaniel, no Mia.
Only —
the me who was trapped in love, repeatedly fantasizing that my loved one would be resurrected.
Just me.
All of this was just my obsession to see Orion one more time.
...
I received treatment in the hospital for a long time.
I began to obediently take my medication and occasionally chatted with the nurses and my roommate.
Everyone thought I was slowly getting better.
When Charlie came to visit me again, he said I looked much better.
He placed a bouquet of flowers on my bedside table:
"Elara, the champagne roses you like."
I suppressed all my emotions and thanked him politely.
Actually, I knew that he took care of me so much because of Orion's final request.
I touched the fresh petals and smiled bitterly:
"That idiot, he used to send me flowers even though he was allergic."
Charlie spoke with difficulty: "Elara, please… move on."
I paused in my caressing, opened my mouth, and whispered, "Okay."
At the end of the month, it was my twenty-sixth birthday.
The nurse ordered a cake for me and playfully smeared cream on the tip of my nose.
I laughed at her.
She said, "Elara, smile more often in the future."
I lowered my eyes.
After a while, I spoke as if nothing had happened:
"Today is my birthday, can I make a wish?"
"Of course you can."
I took the nurse's hand: "I want to see Orion."
Her face showed reluctance.
Perhaps because she thought I was doing well recently, she hesitated for a moment but eventually agreed.
Charlie accompanied me to the National Cemetery.
I squatted down and placed a small piece of cream cake in front of the unmarked tombstone.
"Foolish Orion."
"Now, I'm the same age as you."
We'll be together forever, won't we?
I said the second half to myself.
But Charlie was too sensitive. He wiped away his tears and helped me up:
"Elara, it's getting dark. Let me take you back to the hospital."
Looking at his expression, he seemed worried that I might do something foolish again.
I nodded obediently.
He sighed in relief.
On the way back, the streets were festively decorated with red lanterns hanging from the branches.
I suddenly remembered that the Christmas was approaching.
The car passed by a fireworks shop, and I asked Charlie to stop so I could buy two small bundles of fireworks.
When he dropped me off at the hospital entrance, he suddenly received an urgent work call.
"Elara, I…"
I smiled understandingly: "Go ahead, I can go upstairs by myself."
He gritted his teeth, dropped me off, and then turned the car around to leave.
I stood downstairs at the hospital, holding the fireworks in my arms.
I didn't go back up.
I traveled on.
I went to the woods where Orion died.
By the time I arrived, it was nearly midnight.
I lit the fireworks, leaned against a tree, and gazed upward as they burst into brilliant colors in the night sky.
"Orion."
"Merry Christmas!"
Smiling, I took out a fruit knife I had prepared earlier and, without hesitation, slit my wrist.
Blood flowed all over the ground.
I seemed to see the person who would never return, touching my head helplessly:
"Can't you… live on properly?"
No.
Never.
I no longer wanted to live.
I said, Orion, take me with you.
He was silent for a long time, but finally took my hand:
"Okay, let's go home."
When I closed my eyes, I was smiling.
Because—
I could finally be with Orion forever.
