Sidney obediently climbed onto the bed, lying on her back and not daring to move.
"Turn off the light!"
"...Can we leave it on?"
"How can you sleep with the lights on?"
"I really can't sleep with the light off."
"Why?"
"It's my habit."
"What a strange habit, change it."
"I can't, I'll have nightmares."
"What kind of nightmares?"
"Just like the one you saw before. If I have a nightmare, you won't be able to sleep well either. How about I sleep in the guest room?"
"......" Jayson sat up, staring at her without speaking. Sidney decided to get out of bed, but he grabbed her hand firmly.
"What kind of nightmares?" "What exactly are these nightmares? I told you to see a psychiatrist before, why didn't you go?"
"I can't go."
"There's no 'can't' when it comes to seeing a doctor," Jayson said dismissively.
"...... You don't understand."
"How don't I understand? I understand, that's why I want you to see a doctor. It's bad for your health to keep going on like this."
"As long as I sleep with the light on, I'll be fine."
"Sleeping with the light on is also bad for your health."
"…"
"You're suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, aren't you?"
Sidney stared at him, surprised that he used this term.
He seemed to be thinking, and after a moment, he added, "I had it before, too. I couldn't sleep for a while, kept having nightmares, just like you."
"What happened then?" Sidney asked.
"Then I went to see a doctor and got better. If you keep this up for long, many of your body's functions will be affected. You should see a doctor."
"Can I... know what caused it for you...?" Sidney asked cautiously.
He stared at the closet, exhaled slowly, and then said, "I told you last night how my mother passed, didn't I?"
"Mm." So he still remembered what happened last night.
"Well, I witnessed it with my own eyes. After that, I hated my father, ran away from home. During that time, I could hardly sleep. My emotions were all over the place—irritable, angry—and I hung out with a bunch of friends, causing trouble. It wasn't until my father dragged me back home and I saw a doctor that I started getting better."
The two of them were silent for a moment, and Sidney noticed that he was deep in thought.
"...Do you still hate your father?" she asked.
"...I don't hate him anymore. He spent twenty years punishing himself. He's the saddest person."
"But now you're taking over his business, following in his footsteps."
"No, I'm not. I know no matter how hard I try, people will still think of me as Finnegan's son. You can't just discard blood ties. But I'm trying to change. Opal Lounge can't shut down, but it's undergoing a transformation."
"You still can't escape completely, can you?"
"But it's better than before, with all the fighting and killing, and not being able to see anyone doing well."
"Mm, you're quite optimistic," Sidney said with a bitter smile.
She lay back down, burying her face in the pillow. She felt like crying. She knew the pain of losing a mother. Although he downplayed it, she could completely understand.
She wiped her tears on the pillow, the quiet sobs escaping her without sound. The room felt heavy as she lay there, trying to hold it together, but the tears wouldn't stop.
Jayson got up and turned off the light. The room was left dim, with only a slight light filtering through the thick curtains that weren't fully drawn.
"Don't turn off the light!" Jayson's action made Sidney break down completely. She cried out, shouting.
She jumped out of bed, intending to turn the light on, but Jayson rushed over, grabbed her, and pinned her down.
Sidney's cries grew louder, repeatedly shouting, "Don't turn off the light!"
"What exactly are you afraid of?" Jayson asked, looking down at her.
Sidney covered her eyes with the backs of her hands, sniffling.
"I'm afraid... I'm so scared..." Sidney trembled, speaking in broken sentences. "On my birthday, I waited for mom to finish her bath, to take me out for fried chicken... But she didn't come out for a long time. When I opened the door, I noticed the light was dim. I tried to turn it on..." Her hands were soaked, and tears kept sliding down her face.
Jayson didn't move, keeping himself propped up above her, watching her sob, waiting for her to finish.
"Then I screamed! I went crazy! I saw my mother lying in her blood! She was looking at me! I kept screaming! Screaming! Screaming! Then someone came! She died! She died right in front of me! I couldn't handle it! Why did this happen to me!" Sidney started to hysterically cry, her hoarse voice growing more frantic, her legs kicking wildly, shaking her head forcefully.
Seeing her lose control, Jayson tightly held her, preventing her from moving around and hurting herself.
Sidney turned around and tightly hugged him, burying her face in his chest. She clung to him desperately, using all her strength as if clinging to a piece of driftwood, afraid she was about to drown.
Jayson locked her beneath him, gently wiping away her tears with his fingers. Her tears were pouring so quickly that he couldn't keep up. They held each other tightly, and he waited until her crying subsided before wiping her face again.
Sidney held onto him, embarrassed, burying her face in his chest, feeling damp all over.
Noticing that he remained silent, Sidney asked, "Are you going to laugh at me?"
"What would I laugh at you for?" he asked softly.
"To laugh at me for being scared, for being useless."
"No way!"
"Mm." She responded with a thick nasal tone. "You've said a lot to me today."
"Sometimes, when I look at you, it's like I'm seeing the old me."
"Mm."
"You still should see a doctor."
"Can I not go?"
"No."
"Treat me, then."
"I'm not a doctor."
"Try it," she said, her face emerging from his chest. Having just cried, her whole body was hot, and the warmth from her breath hit his face.
The soft glow of the light caught the thin gold-framed glasses he wore, sending a flash of blinding light toward her. She could barely make out his eyes, but she saw his lips, slightly parted, as if hesitating to speak. Without thinking, she lifted her chin, closing the distance between them, and captured his lips with hers, a kiss that spoke volumes without a single word.
Jayson pulled away and looked at her. "Do you know what the consequences of this are?"
"I understand."
"Then why do you want to kiss me?" he asked rationally.
"I... I feel like we're very close, like we're the same kind of people." She felt he understood her, and it seemed like she could find warmth from him.
"Is that why you kissed me? Do you see me as a way to heal yourself?" he said coldly. Sidney felt as though he was getting angry.
She quickly shook her head, denying it. "I'm sorry, I just suddenly wanted to kiss you." She felt like she wanted to place all her grievances onto him, seeking some form of acknowledgment.
He sighed. "There's nothing wrong with doing it for the sake of sex, but I'm not sure if you can handle it. Have you thought this through?"
Sidney felt confused.
She didn't know.
"You know I've never wanted to force anything. I also don't want you to regret it later. Will you regret it?"
She remained silent, for a long time. Long enough that he rolled off her and lay beside her. She knew he wasn't asleep. Tonight, neither of them would sleep.
"I will try to fall in love with you, and make you fall in love with me," she whispered. Jayson didn't respond, but she extended her left hand to hold his. Slowly, his hand closed around hers.
She felt the warmth of his body, a quiet reassurance that settled deep within her. For the first time, she wanted this man to be a part of her life, not just a fleeting moment but something permanent. Their night ended here, but as the first light of dawn crept into the room, it also marked a beginning—something fragile, yet filled with possibility.
