Because the graduation ceremony coincided with the anniversary of Sidney's mother's death, and as the only one who would remember and offer sacrifices, she called her supervisor to ask for leave and arranged to pick up her diploma another day. Looking at the calendar, she remembered that her teacher was probably about to go abroad for the holiday. After finishing her morning routine, Sidney quickly changed into a pink chiffon dress that Alondra had given her for her birthday, paired with a large canvas shoulder bag, and rushed out. She bought a sandwich on the way and ate it while walking. After finishing her morning routine, Sidney quickly slipped into a pink chiffon dress that Alondra had given her for her birthday, paired with a large canvas shoulder bag, and rushed out the door. She grabbed a sandwich on the way and ate it as she walked. After a half-hour bus ride, she'd arrive at school and pass by the library. In the past, she always seemed to run into people she'd rather avoid right at the library entrance, forcing herself to make awkward small talk. But now, with so many days having passed since graduation, those people were probably long gone. She breezed past the library and headed straight for the department building.
"Hey, Sidney!" a male voice called out.
Sidney felt a slight sense of unease in her heart, hesitated for a moment, and turned her head, only to see her ex-boyfriend, Carl.
How is he still here? Didn't he go back to his hometown for blind dates?
"Is something the matter?" Sidney, no longer bothering to pretend, looked at Carl impatiently as he walked towards her.
"Why are you here at school?" Carl asked, holding a book in his hands.
"I'm here to pick up my diploma. If there's nothing else, I'll be on my way." Though she had once loved him, now she could honestly say that she didn't, and she had no intention of lingering.
"Hey! Wait a minute! I have something to say to you."
"Then say it quickly! I have other things to do later." She had tried calling him before, but either he didn't pick up or he was busy. Now he had time?
"I want to tell you in person, I'm sorry. I wish you find someone better. If you get a new boyfriend, you have to let me know," Carl said sincerely.
"Tell you what? Ease your guilty conscience? Let me be honest with you! There are way better guys out there than you! Not only have I got a new boyfriend, but I'm getting married next month. So don't ever contact me again!" Seeing the shocked look on Carl's face, Sidney felt a rush of satisfaction, as if she had finally avenged herself.
She knew her reaction to the breakup was irrational. Most people either cried their eyes out or couldn't get out of the sadness. But she, this time, had only felt sad on the day Carl broke up with her, and after that, she let it go. She spent a lot of time wondering if being able to move on so quickly meant that she hadn't loved him enough.
At that time, her classmates were all in relationships, and everyone said that dating was a must in university. When someone treated her well, she just went along with it. She hated the feeling of being alone at school, and she couldn't stand the constant pressure from classmates trying to set her up with someone. After a lot of hesitation, she picked Carl, who seemed like a decent guy. They went through the motions of what couples were supposed to do: waiting under trees, picking the same general courses, whispering behind the classroom. It was all based on what they saw others doing. On the surface, it looked like they were in a relationship, but she never felt that spark, the kind of excitement everyone else seemed to talk about.
Ignoring the fact that Carl hadn't regained his composure, Sidney turned around and started to leave. He called after her, but she didn't look back. She only heard him say, "You never loved me!"
When Sidney heard this, she suddenly turned back. Carl was walking toward her. "You never loved me. Every time I tried to kiss you, you would reject this and that, never let me get close. Even when I asked you out, it was always a bunch of excuses. What did you actually think I was?"
"What's the point of saying all this now? It doesn't matter anymore." Sidney seemed to have been hit by something he said, feeling a bit guilty.
"At first, I was really happy being with you, but after a while, it's hard to stay happy when you're always the one putting in all the effort. I realized long ago that we weren't meant to last, which is why I decided to follow my mother's wishes. Honestly, I don't feel guilty about it today. I hope you find someone you love more. That would be better." After he finished speaking, he left.
Sidney watched his back for a while before entering the department office. She quickly signed for her diploma and then left the campus by a different route. This time, she was truly leaving the school. There were too many memories of her and Carl here. She thought she would never set foot here again. In her heart, there was no longer that Carl who had secretly cheated on her and gone on blind dates. He was right; their relationship had indeed been strange. When she said "I love you," the calmness she felt inside often made her doubt herself—what was love, really? After hearing his words today, she felt like she had delayed Carl.
In the evening, she wandered around a café by the street, not wanting to go home. In her mind, it wasn't really her home—it was her father's, her stepmother's, and her sister's home. Knowing her sister would be home for dinner tonight, she didn't want to go back too early, letting them have their family time. She picked up the evening newspaper that had just been delivered to the café, flipping through it absentmindedly until she spotted the handsome face of her fiancé. Sidney wasn't usually interested in celebrity gossip, but since he was now her fiancé, she figured she might as well take a look.
The sensational and exaggerated writing depicted the relationship between the two in a terrible light. Sidney stared at the face she had seen just a few days ago, feeling that the person was too unfamiliar. They had just finished discussing their wedding, and now he was with another woman, as if he was deliberately trying to send a warning to her and the Calderon family, knowing that they wouldn't dare speak up.
A flash of disdain crossed Sidney's mind as she studied the woman in the photo, wondering if Jayson particularly liked women with big breasts. She found him shallow. The newspaper also mentioned that he was planning to start a tech company? To Sidney, he was nothing more than a spoiled, rich kid with a gangster attitude. She let out a soft laugh before folding the newspaper and putting it aside. The bartender, noticing her in a good mood, casually tried to strike up a conversation, asking where she went to school and what kind of coffee she liked. Sidney, raised in an environment where she was taught not to get too friendly with strangers, didn't appreciate the staff prying into her personal life. She quickly paid for her coffee and left.
While walking on the sidewalk, Sidney received a text message. She took it out and read it. It was from Alondra, saying that her fiancé was at a club, partying with a group of friends. In the private room, chaos reigned as they indulged in every kind of excess. Four or five of the top escort girls had been called in, and she even caught sight of someone stumbling out, looking disheveled and clearly out of sorts.
Sidney slid her finger across the screen emotionlessly, reading each word on the text repeatedly. She knew that Alondra was still trying to make her reconsider, which was why she told her all this. Sidney sat by the flower bed on the sidewalk, thought for a moment, and then replied, "Thanks, but please don't tell me things like this in the future."
Sidney sat quietly on the roadside, unsure of where to go. She couldn't go home, and there was nowhere else to go. The world was so vast, yet it seemed there was no place that could accommodate her.
She sat in a daze until eight o'clock. After calculating the time, she figured her sister must have already left. Sidney then dragged her heavy steps back.
As expected, her father, who naturally loved socializing, wasn't home. After washing her hands and seeing that it was still early, Sidney took a basin of warm water into her stepmother's room.
"Mom, I've come to soak your feet."
The stepmother's room was the largest in the entire house, designed with plenty of space to accommodate her wheelchair for easy movement. Sidney didn't dare look up as she walked straight to her stepmother's wheelchair. She took off the shoes of the older woman, who was watching TV, and gently lowered her feet into the warm water. Sidney began massaging her stepmother's feet. The technique was something she had learned from the doctor who had previously helped with her stepmother's rehabilitation. Although her stepmother had little sensation in her lower body, the massage still helped stimulate the nerves in her feet and relax the muscles.
Focused, Sidney worked her way from the soles of her feet to the ankles and up her calves. Suddenly, her stepmother switched the channel to the entertainment station, which was broadcasting celebrity news. Sidney heard the host mention Finnegan's name. Even without paying close attention, she could guess what they were talking about. Her stepmother let out a soft laugh and then wiggled her toes. Sidney knew her stepmother was mocking her, but she didn't react, continuing the massage quietly.
"Your sister left just now," her stepmother suddenly spoke up, her voice cutting through the noise of the TV. "She said she tried on your wedding dress for you. You two have pretty similar figures."
Sidney was surprised her stepmother was in the mood to talk. "Yes."
"I won't go to your wedding," her stepmother continued, her voice more matter-of-fact. "It's hard for me to move around. Your dad can go, that's enough."
"Okay." A part of Sidney still held out hope that her stepmother would attend, especially since everyone saw her as the kind-hearted, adoptive mother of the Calderon family—the one who would surely show up for her second daughter's wedding.
"Just go now!" her stepmother snapped. Sidney dried her stepmother's feet with a towel, put her shoes back on, and, as she lifted the basin, briefly glanced up. She caught sight of her stepmother's cold, menacing glare. Quickly, she averted her gaze and left the room.
