As her hand touched the door lock, a strong force grabbed her, and Dallas lifted her completely off the ground, carrying her away from the door.
"Averi, don't go, Averi." His voice was hoarse, his lips desperately seeking hers.
Averi turned her head to avoid him. "Dallas, don't do this. Sex can't fix what's wrong between us."
A lot of problems can be solved with passion, but not this one.
Dallas's chest rose and fell as his arms trembled uncontrollably.
"Don't do this," she had told him, and it was exactly as he had feared: he became a paranoid, unreasonable man, and she grew more and more exhausted by it. Eventually, she was tired, weary, and said "Don't do this," before walking away.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Averi. I'll do anything you want, just don't leave me." Dallas clung to her with all his strength, his breath slightly erratic, speaking in a disjointed frenzy. "Averi, let's go back together, okay? The toys, the butt plugs, everything... I'm willing, I'll do anything, we can use them today, please?"
Averi was so shocked that she forgot to breathe.
What did he mean by that? Was he trying to use his body to please her? What did he take her for, and what did he take himself for?
A rush of both hurt and anger surged within her, and Averi struggled. "Dallas, let me go."
Dallas froze completely. In that moment, it felt as though the air around them had thickened, his chest tightening painfully, and breathing became difficult.
She had rejected him, even rejecting his body.
"Averi, I love you, I love you, don't leave me..."
The way he said "I love you" was so painful, it didn't sound like a confession, but more like a martyr's last words.
Dallas buried his head in her neck, as if dying. His hands still gripped her tightly, as rough as a robber.
A wave of pity flooded her heart, bubbling with a bitter tang, instantly dousing her anger.
"Dallas, I'm not trying to break up. It's just..." Averi relaxed her body, gently stroking his arm, sighing as she spoke. "I don't know what else I can do to make you trust me. I thought we were making progress, but now it seems like nothing's really changed."
She would feel frustrated by this too.
"We've been through so much together—car accidents, wars, landmines. It was dangerous, thrilling even. Even Milo's presence could be considered a danger. These external dangers could mask a lot of issues, but Dallas, right now, it's just you and me. If you can't trust me, then our relationship will only keep distorting."
Dallas closed his eyes in pain, his breath trembling. "No, Averi, I'm not doubting you."
He paused for a moment, then said, "I'm afraid... afraid I won't be able to keep you. The reason I asked is because I wanted... I wanted to hear you say you love me."
This was the secret he found hardest to voice, because it was too cowardly—cowardly enough that he didn't even like himself for it. He couldn't say it, afraid it would make her despise him even more.
*
Averi was stunned; she had never thought about it like this. She always assumed those questions were doubts, defenses, but never realized they were actually requests.
"I love you, Dallas. I do love you. If you want to hear it, I can say it every day."
Dallas's muscles tensed and trembled, his breath breaking unevenly. He didn't dare let himself sink too deep. Unable to see her face, he couldn't tell if this was just a comfort, but he didn't dare look, afraid that he'd see it for what it was.
"...Averi, what do you love about me?"
"I love your loyalty, kindness, sense of responsibility—so many things."
"These are simple."
Averi took a moment to collect her thoughts, then said, "The simpler things are, the harder they are to maintain. Most people's loyalty and kindness are just blind habits. It's easy to maintain them when there's no need to make a choice. Adults focus on actions, not hearts. I don't deny the virtue of this kind of habit. I've never been to a battlefield, so I don't know what people would do to survive, but I'm sure it's worse than anything you'd see in the business world, where people do anything for money." She spoke each word clearly: "Dallas, you're awake, and no one is better than you."
Dallas squeezed his fingers, then after a long pause, he spoke with difficulty, "Averi, I'm not as good as you say. Just now, in the car, I thought about what I would do if one day you stopped loving me." He turned her body toward him, face to face. "I'm a lot more selfish than you think. Averi, even if you don't love me anymore, I won't let you go."
Averi looked directly into his stubborn eyes and smiled. "Love is selfish by nature, so don't let me go. Keep me here, make me love you."
In the intensity of her candid and passionate gaze, Dallas's eyes burned with unshed tears, and he pulled her into a tight embrace.
Averi held him just as tightly, whispering, "Dallas, you have to believe that I love you." She paused for a moment, then softly added, "You have to believe, because that's the truth."
His heart was out of control, and Dallas felt as though he were drowning in a warm, soothing current.
He buried his head deeper, muttering, "Okay."
Feeling his mood lifting slightly, Averi shifted to a lighter tone and asked, "Alright, you know all about me now. Is there anything you want to tell me?"
Dallas looked up and said, "When I just graduated, the captain introduced me to a doctor. We had dinner a few times and saw a movie together."
"Why didn't it work out?" From the way he was telling the story, Averi already guessed the outcome.
"...I couldn't take responsibility for her."
Dallas recalled what the captain had told him: "Dallas, man up a bit. You can't just wait for the girl to make the first move, right? She's still really fond of you, otherwise, she wouldn't have asked me for help. Her father's a soldier, so he understands our line of work. She's an orthopedic surgeon, such a good profession—stable. It'll be convenient for her family to see a doctor in the future. A girl like that, you better pay attention."
Back at the dorm, he took the initiative to message her and invited her to a movie.
She seemed really shy, hardly looking at him.
Later, on the way home, her hand brushed against his a few times. That's when he realized he should be holding her hand.
He hesitated for a moment, then took her hand.
After returning to camp, he regretted it. He had nothing to offer, and with Fiona to look after, what right did he have to take on someone else's future?
He couldn't hold her back, so when the captain asked him again, he said that at this stage, he just wanted to repay the organization's support and take good care of his sister, with no other intentions.
The captain sighed repeatedly.
As old memories resurfaced, he suddenly recalled the feeling of holding her hand. At the time, all he could think was, "So this is what it feels like—girls' hands are so soft." It felt nice, but after that, it was just... done.
At that thought, Dallas grabbed Averi's hand, holding it tighter and tighter, as if he never wanted to let go.
This hand—he never wanted to let it go, not even if it cost him his life.
Dallas took a deep breath and said, "Averi, wait for me."
Averi sat on the sofa, waiting. Before long, Dallas walked out of the bedroom, his right hand clenched tightly, as if holding something.
He walked straight up to her, knelt on one knee, and placed both hands on her knees. "I know it's not the right time yet, but Averi, I can't wait another second."
Dallas flipped his right hand over, revealing a velvet box, and opened it under her watchful gaze. Inside, there lay a diamond ring.
"When... did you buy this?"
"The day you said we should date longer before getting married."
"So early?" Averi said, surprised. "You actually bought it this early?"
Dallas looked at her, his face serious but his eyes filled with intensity. "Averi, please… let me be yours. I swear to you, I'll be as loyal to you as I am to my own beliefs. I'll give you everything I have, and I'll love you forever."
Seconds passed, and Dallas lost all sense of time, suppressing his emotions as he waited, his breath slowing down.
Neon lights from outside shone on Averi's face, illuminating the tenderness in her eyes, making her even more captivating than usual.
"Averi, did you forget something?"
Dallas froze, momentarily stunned.
"You didn't ask if I'm willing."
Dallas's ears turned red instantly, but his eyes grew brighter, almost burning her with their intensity.
"Averi, will you marry me?"
Averi smiled, extending her right hand to him. "I will."
Dallas blinked, then carefully took out the ring and slid it onto her ring finger.
It fit perfectly—he had secretly measured her finger. But still, he didn't dare to rush, afraid of hurting her, and afraid that this happiness might not be real. He needed a little more time to process it.
When the silver band reached the base of her finger, fitting perfectly against her slender digit, Dallas finally smiled.
He lowered his head and kissed her fingers with reverence. "I'm sorry, Averi. Right now, I can only afford a diamond this size. Wait for me, okay? I'll work hard and get you a bigger, better one."
She didn't need diamonds; he knew that. Maybe, no matter how hard he tried, he could never buy what she already had, and he knew that too. But still, he made her this promise.
This was her lover, more sincere than anyone else.
Averi smiled at him with crescent-shaped eyes. "I'll wait for you."
The next morning, after breakfast, Averi was changing clothes and said, "It's getting late, we need to hurry. We'll need to stand in line soon."
Where are you going? "He asked.
"Marriage license office." Averi slipped on her sweater and turned to look at him.
Dallas suddenly understood, struggling to suppress his overwhelming joy. He tried to keep calm as he said, "But you said we should wait a bit longer, that you wanted to settle in at work first. Averi, when I proposed yesterday, it wasn't to rush you into marrying me. As long as you're willing to wear the ring, I'll be happy."
Averi leaned in next to him and looked up, saying, "So the wedding might have to wait a little while, but we can go ahead and get the marriage license today."
Dallas wrapped his arms around her, his voice serious. "Are you sure? You're not being forced into this, right? I can wait, Averi. Really, I can wait as long as it takes."
With her promise, waiting no longer felt like torment.
Meeting his deep gaze, Averi smiled for a moment before saying, "I'm sure."
Her body suddenly felt weightless. Averi didn't have time to react before her vision started to spin. Dallas was twirling her around in his arms.
The brilliant sunlight gently outlined his silhouette, and his smiling eyes held both joy and a touch of embarrassment, as if he felt a little self-conscious about his childish act.
Averi couldn't help but smile.
