Since I was little, I've often heard my mom say, "As long as you love wholeheartedly, love doesn't have to be with you."
What does it mean that love doesn't have to be with me? Honestly, I don't quite get it.
Oh, by the way—my mom is a romance novelist and an online writer. Besides strictly educating her kids...(Here 50 words have been omitte)...she spends her time writing about romance, love stories filled with "I love you" and "I can't live without you."
I often find my mom quite peculiar. She's already a forty-year-old middle-aged woman. No matter how glamorous she might have been when she was younger, after going through marriage and having kids—especially after having three kids—she should have no more expectations about love. Particularly when my dad has transformed from a handsome guy into a middle-aged man with a beer belly, what keeps my mom persistently weaving one passionate love story after another to deceive herself?
They say disillusionment is the beginning of maturity, so why do I feel like my mom hasn't matured at all because of the disillusionment in love?
★
"In the beginning of the story, everyone is a supporting character. Only those who rise with strength can occupy the protagonist's halo in the end."
When I was in sixth grade, I read my mom's online novel for the first time and encountered the term "female supporting character."
"Mom, what is a female supporting character?" I asked.
Mom passionately replied, "A female supporting character? She's the cannon fodder in the battlefield of love!"
"I don't get it."
"Cierra, in the world of love, the one who isn't loved is always the eternal supporting character. So, if you don't want to be a supporting character, you have to find a way to rise and become the female lead, understand?" Mom's words sounded deep and left me quite bewildered.
"So, if you're pretty, can you be the female lead?" I asked, still puzzled.
As I grew older, I realized I was good-looking.
As I grew taller, walking hand in hand with my mom, people's eyes no longer lingered on her but often called me "little princess" or "little beauty." On one hand, Mom said her youthful years were gone; on the other hand, I did inherit her good looks.
Mom glanced at me, "Even if you're fair-skinned, beautiful, and long-legged, so what?" She paused and added, "And you're still a top student, but just the queen among supporting characters."
"Queen among supporting characters?" I felt excited because it sounded impressive.
"Still a supporting character." Mom looked at me with pity, probably thinking this top student was being foolish!
★
"No matter if they're handsome or not, by the time they reach middle age, they all look the same. So, from the start, it's better to choose a handsome one. At least the love's shelf life can last a bit longer."
When I was in middle school, Mom often took out photos of Dad when he was young and earnestly told me that whether they're handsome or ugly, they all end up looking the same when they're old—either bald or with a big belly.
Given that, it's better to choose a handsome one from the start. At least you get a few more years of pleasing scenery, extending the love's shelf life.
When Mom said this, I turned to look at Dad lying on the couch and felt a shiver down my spine.
At that moment, Dad had just finished eating, lying lazily on the couch with a big round belly. I thought Mom was absolutely right. This man, full of middle-aged vibes, didn't have even a tenth—no, not even one percent—of the charm he had in his college photos.
I suddenly wanted to understand Mom's mental journey through Dad's drastic change.
"Mom, when you first met Dad, did he look like he does in the photos or like he does now?" I looked disdainfully at Dad, who was yawning and rubbing his belly.
Mom glanced at me sideways, "What? Doubting my taste?"
"Not really, it's just that Dad has changed a lot."
"Photos can be photoshopped, but Dad can't be fake. Rest assured, you're definitely Dad's biological child." Mom looked at me with a half-smile.
She must have seen through my inner desire to swap for a more handsome dad.
★
"As long as you love wholeheartedly, love doesn't have to be with you."
What the heck, Mom said it's her own creation, adapted from the saying "Success doesn't have to be with me." It means that as long as you've loved, it's okay even if you're not the bride? "I am extremely shocked."
Isn't this unfair? You've been in love, your hand has been held, your lips have been kissed? If it's even worse, it's not just your lips being kissed, but also... I mean, your heart, your heart has been hooked, only to find out that the female lead has someone else, wouldn't you feel so terrible? You would feel like chopping someone right there.
Love stories could turn into horror thrillers.
Mom always says that at a young age, I can't understand what it means for a moment to last forever, but I just feel that if love finally falls to someone else, I would rather never have had it in this life.
Yes, I am that petty and calculating person.
Oh, I forgot to mention, at this time I was in high school. Regarding love, I already had a vague and blurry concept, but because I still had to prepare for the college entrance exam, I talked less with Mom about topics related to love.
Mom continued to create her romantic tales during her spare time from housework, pouring all her love into her writing. Dad still lay on his favorite long sofa watching TV and soon started snoring. And I also thought that the days would remain unchanged.
