He dragged my suitcase with one hand and held me with the other, walking back without exchanging a word. I didn't understand his intentions.
"On my studies, then?" I asked him on the ride back.
"I'll figure something out."
"And tuition fees?"
"What else can I do? You owe me enough already, a bit more won't matter."
"Uncle, you're so kind."
"Forget it. You were sulking because of me this morning, and now you think I'm great."
We bickered all the way home, but those ten kilometers felt short. It is not tiring at all, and time flew by swiftly. I thought he must like me a little.
In the days that followed, I was ecstatic. Every day, on our way back from the garage, we passed a meadow full of wildflowers. I'd climb up and pick a bunch, running back home with them, putting them in a beer bottle.
I placed the flower-filled bottles in every corner of the rental house, filling it with vitality.
I started cleaning up, buying new toothpaste and brushes, not telling him they were couple's outfits.
After Nathaniel promised to quit smoking, he did try, but he'd still sneak a puff where I couldn't see.
On the 120th day of living with him, I begged him for a small cake.
"Is it your birthday tomorrow?"
"No, it's our 120-day anniversary."
"What 120 days?"
"The 120 days since I arrived here. It worth celebrating, of course."
"You have exploited me for 120 days. This is your celebration but my misery day."
Despite his words, he rode ten kilometers to town and bought a rabbit-shaped cake. He brought it back in a black bag.
"Boss, what did you buy? So secretive?" A few tried to open it.
"None of your business, don't open it," he snapped back.
"Let us see it."
"A rabbit cake?"
"Boss, what's with you?"
"Got a girlfriend again?"
"Go to hell. If you spit one more word, and I'll break your legs, understand?"
Nathaniel scared them off and brought me home.
"Don't make me buy this again, a grown man carrying a rabbit cake on the street is weird."
"No, it's cute, I love it." I happily took the cake. "Have you bought for anyone before?"
"No, why would I, am I crazy?"
"When you were dating, didn't you buy for your girlfriends?"
"Why would I buy this to please a girlfriend?" He countered.
"How did you please them then?"
"They will beg me to push them in the room and lock the door, what's there to please?"
"You!"
He was a rogue, I realized, I couldn't argue with him.
"I wasn't talking about you."
"Am I different from them?" I looked at him.
"Of course, you're not…"
"Enough, don't finish that sentence." I smeared cream on his mouth. "I don't want to hear."
"I don't eat cream," he frowned.
"It's sweet," I licked my finger, and it was.
He stared at me doing this, frozen for a moment, then quickly averted his gaze.
"Don't do that in front of other men."
"Why?"
He glanced at me again, "Nothing, just that they're worse than me."
He pushed me away, sitting away from me.
I looked at him, thinking this was nice.
Just when life seemed to be improving, reality splashed me with cold water again.
Mona returned a few days later. I saw them talking at the garage. As I approached, she warmly greeted me, like the lady of the house.
"Felicity, right? Nathaniel said you're his niece? Why didn't you tell me sooner, I misunderstood last time." She reached for my hand, but I stiffly pulled away.
"Did he say that?"
Niece?
The uncle who pampered me just days ago, was I truly his niece or did he distance himself from me in front of his ex?
"Nathaniel said you want to study in the county? You came to the right person, the principal of the county's top high school is my uncle, I can help."
I turned to Nathaniel, his face was expressionless.
"Yes, thank you."
Studying here was good.
Initially, I thought Nathaniel only invited Mona to help me.
However, she wrapped her arm around his, leaning into him, touching him, and he didn't resist.
Watching this, my heart felt sliced.
That night, Nathaniel went out with her, and he didn't return all night. I hugged my knees, watching the moon set and the sky turn pale, my heart sinking.
When Nathaniel returned, I didn't ask, nor did I throw a tantrum, as if nothing happened.
I didn't cross the line again.
On the day for school, he asked how often I'd return.
"I will return once a month."
"That long?"
"I'd only stand in the way between you two if I am here. I remember the money I owe you, don't worry. When I enter university, I'll work part-time to repay you. And thank you."
"You're not being pressed to repay."
Shouldn't he celebrate my absence?
It was none of my business.
"Forget it, call me if anything happened to you. Do you remember my number?"
"I don't have a phone."
"Use the dormitory landline."
"Okay."
He dropped me off, made my bed. He waved at me and left. Watching his back, I was unspeakably sad.
Sometimes, I really felt he was like my father. But my dad never escort me to school or made my bed.
The day he left, I wrote in my diary:
"I have a secret. From now on, I'll guard this secret and him. Not getting close to him means not losing him."
