Married in spite of me
Author :
Part 2 chapter 11
Khalil
I was so shocked by what was happening that my whole body was shaking, I really had a hard time containing the rage I feel right now
Me: Are you finally going to open it?
Nabila: yes it's him, it's your son...
Me: how dare you hide the existence of my son from me? you didn't do it all alone, this fucking kid
Nabila in a calm tone: after the birth of my son it was a bit complicated to present myself in front of you to tell you that we had a child together, you would never have believed me, I did not want to take this risk
Me (with a nervous laugh): WHO DID YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO DECIDE IF I HAD THE RIGHT TO KNOW ABOUT MY SON OR NOT? FOR WHO ?
My mother: calm down my son you risk scaring the child
Nabila: it's very easy to accuse me right now, you seem to forget quickly, you chased me out of your house like a clean evil after giving me a pregnancy test which turned out to be negative, you You wrote a check for the service rendered, for having spent all this time with you, for having loved you darling like crazy, you called me a whore; would you have believed the whore if she had come to see you to tell you that she had given you a child? he could have been the child of one of my clients
Me: SHUT UP
Nabila: I no longer intend to be silent, I only repeat what you say, stop wanting to play the victim, it is you who have led us to this situation
I sit calmly in the chair trying to regain my composure because this little girl already makes me want to kill
Me (in a calm tone): you knew very well how much I wanted to have children, admit all this is to get revenge, you found the best place to hit to hurt well done
Nabila: I wanted this child as much to see more than you, I prayed to God to have him, this child I wanted to have him with you, I wanted us to raise him together, I wanted him to grow up with both of his parents but you did everything to keep us away from you, all you managed to show me was that you weren't ready to take on the responsibility of being a father, you're not ready to bring the stability he deserves to our son and it was out of the question for you to deny my baby
Me (trying not to lose my temper): you try to give reasons but behind everything you say as a reason there is only the word revenge and punishment that reasons, since I am not worthy to know my son what made you change your decision?
My mother: that's not the point, the main thing is that you have found your son, you can finally regain the time you lost
Me: you're right mother, she kept it to herself for a whole year, right? now it's my turn...
I take my son out of her hands and head for the exit
My mother: but Khalil be reasonable, where are you taking him?
Nabila: if you dare to leave this house with my son, I swear that I will file a complaint against you for kidnapping
Me (giggling): think a little, I'm his father, no one will take you seriously, but try a little, we'll find ourselves before the judge
Nabila: no judge will be crazy enough to give custody of a baby to a man
Me: I am Khalil BEN ATAL I have the means and the resources to withdraw custody of my son from you
My mother: Khalil shut your mouth and give the child back to his mother, I didn't call you here to come and threaten her, but rather find a mutual agreement to be able to spend time with your son
Nabila: you prove me right through your reactions, I don't regret having kept my child away from a person like you
I get up and leave with my son in my arms, I don't see why I'll share with her if she else she kept it all to herself for a whole year, she stole a year of my life from me son, I missed his first steps, the growth of his first teeth, his first smile, I don't know anything about my son because of his selfishness and his desire for revenge
On leaving I go to a supermarket to get some milk, compotes, nappies and some odds and ends home, when I arrive he was still crying, I don't know how to calm him down so much he was screaming, when I enter the house I join Adja in the kitchen
Adja: where are you from with a baby? where is his mother?
Me: he's my son
Adja: stop talking nonsense, since when did you have a child?
Me: I just found out too
She wanted to add something but when she looks at him she says nothing more and takes him from my arms to calm him down
Adja: he must surely be hungry, you still asked his mother what he takes, didn't you?
Me: no, I went to the supermarket, I took everything I could find for childish food, he must surely have something in there that he can eat
She doesn't say anything anymore she rummages through the packages and takes out something and then gives him her she gives him a bath he ends up calming down and sleeps in her arms, we put him to bed in my bedroom before going back down to the living room
Adja: are you finally going to explain to me the mystery behind this baby? who is his mother and why is it now you decide to take care of him, she is or his mother, why is he with you?
She asks me so many questions that I don't know what to answer first.
Me: I just learned that I have a son who is already one year old, his mother has been hiding him from me all this time
Adja: don't tell me it's Nabila his mother
Me (with a nervous laugh): Nabila in the flesh, she deliberately made the choice to hide from me the fact that she was carrying my child, this girl for whom you have made me see all the colors in recent years , this girl you have been defending for these months, she made the choice to separate a father and his son
Adja: I understand that you feel hurt at the moment, you have every right, far be it from me to defend her, but as a woman I try to put myself in her place and I understand her, I understand the choice she had to make after the way you broke up, I don't think it would have been easy for her to come see you to tell you this news even though I think it was not the right way to react
Me trying to contain the rage: who tries to understand me? who tries to put himself in my shoes a little, through his fault I don't know anything about my son, my son doesn't know me, he doesn't know that I'm his father, he doesn't even want to be with me, he's started to cry when I took him in my arms, I'm still his father normally he must feel safe with me but she made sure that it was not possible
I feel so hurt and angry that I don't know where her tears are coming from, but I just feel hot liquid running down my face, this is the second time I've shed tears as far as I can remember, the first time was when I discovered her deception and the second time when I discovered that she hid from me the fact that she was a father
Adja taking me in her arms: I know that you are hurt and that you are currently suffering if these tears can help you get better, bring them out my son
Me: even if I'm a monster am I so bad not to deserve to be a father, am I so bad not to deserve to have the love of my child?
Adja: not at all my son, everyone deserves to be loved, I'm sure it wasn't against you
Me: she decided to make me suffer and I'm going to pay her back, she'll never have my son again
Adja: NO, I don't agree at all, you're not like that, with this kind of reaction how can she trust you, it's because of her reactions that she couldn't open up to you, she couldn't ask for your help when she needed the most support in her life, she had to face life alone and find herself a single mother, do you think that a woman decides to raise a child alone for pleasure? Do you know how hard it is to be a single mom? but she had to do everything on her own, my son, I know you're not mean, you're not a selfish being, don't let anger transform you, think about this child
Me: she thought of this child when she decided to raise him alone?
Adja: maybe not, maybe yes but you are thinking of him, do you think he can be happy without his mom with him? when you want to make a decision ask yourself the right questions
Me : …
Tonight I'll sleep in the downstairs bedroom when you need something for the kid just wake me up
Me: ok thank you
I get up I go into my room I lay down next to my baby who was sound asleep, I caress his face, I just met him but I feel a lot for him it's kinda weird, I want to take him in my arms, but I'm afraid to wake him up, I give him lots of kisses on his face but he ends up turning his head
This innocent little being has nothing to do with our arguments Adja is perfectly right, even if ideally I would have liked him to have a father and a mother living on the same you like all the other children, I don't don't think it will be possible, am I ready to forget what his mother did to me? for the moment I don't know yet, even if all the love I felt for her is still present and as strong as before my anger towards her is just as strong
For the moment the best for my son is that he goes back to his mother, I cannot take care of him full time and he is not used to me, he will be better with her, even if I will have wanted to have more time with him and be able to see him sleeping every night like today
We need to find common ground so that our son can grow up in an environment conducive to his development.
