It has been more than a month since Kalen passed away. Nothing was the same anymore. Everywhere Zane looked, it reminded him of his mom. The grief he felt was so immeasurably painful.
He couldn't bring himself to go to work or school. He was missing exams every week, yet he didn't have the urge to study. He has barely talked to anyone since then. Ellie would be crying in her room, and him in his own room. Their father came after the funeral, and he only made it worse for them by not staying for more than a week.
Winter and Leon came by a lot of times, sometimes with food, sometimes with notes, sometimes just to comfort him. Whenever they would come, Zane would just cover himself with his blanket and not even raise his head so that they wouldn't see his miserable self and get upset themselves.
Zane was looking at a photo of him and his mom when he heard the calling bell ring. He quickly put the album in the drawer and covered himself with the blanket as her footsteps grew closer.
The door creaked open, making him shut his eyes because he didn't want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to be left alone.
On the other hand, Winter heaved a sigh seeing Zane pretending to sleep again. Her heart wrenched every time she saw him. She even thought about not coming here that often just to make her heart ache. Then again, not seeing would hurt more.
She placed the tray filled with food on the study table, which remained untouched for weeks. There were dust specks everywhere in the room, although she tried her best to keep the room clean. What an irony it was, considering Zane couldn't tolerate too much dirt.
Winter went near Zane and stroked his hair lightly, calling him softly, "Wake up. I brought you lunch."
Zane didn't respond.
"Baby, you need to eat. Get up." She shook his head lightly. "You didn't even eat the food I left in the fridge." Yet, he didn't move an inch. She looked up, blinking to control her tears. Every time she saw him this broken, she felt like a razor was being run over her heart. "If you don't eat, I won't eat nor will I leave. I'm going to stay here and starve with you. Sounds good, right?"
She sat on the floor beside his bed, crossing her legs stubbornly. If he wouldn't listen to words, only threats would work. And indeed, it worked.
Zane sat up and released a sigh. Winter smiled and got up to open the food tray. He had a fever the last day, so she made the chicken broth for him just the way he liked. As she started feeding him, she noticed how pale his face and how red his eyes were, and it pricked her heart like always. If there was anything she could do to take away his pain, she would gladly do it.
"Zane," Winter started and he hummed. "You need to start attending school regularly again," she said, making him drink the broth.
"Won't," he mumbled so quietly, it almost went unheard by her.
"But why not? You need to keep up your performance. You were accepted into Harvard for early decision," she tried to persuade.
"I don't want to study there anymore," he said and shoved away her hand, indicating he didn't want to eat anymore.
Winter placed the bowl aside and said, "What do you mean? You worked so hard for getting it. In fact, you will get the final mail within a week, and I'm sure you will get accepted."
"It was my mom's dream, now that she's not here, I don't want to anymore. I have lost the will for everything," he spat out.
She looked at him with sympathy and took his hands in her. "Aunt Kalen will live on in our hearts. She will live on as long as you remember her. But do you want to fail her by throwing everything that you have worked so hard to earn? What if it was her dream? Is it not your dream now? Do you not want to be a neurosurgeon anymore?"
Zane looked down at his lap, tears sprinkling from his eyes. "I don't know anymore."
"You need to get better. This… locking yourself up will do you no good. I know and I understand this because I have been through it," she tried to explain.
He only shook his head in denial. She knew that Kalen's sudden death affected his mental health too badly, just like her mom's death did to her. At that time, she was alone, that's why it took so long to get over it. But he wasn't alone. He had her and his friends.
Winter took a sharp breath and cupped his cheek with one hand. "Okay, how about you keep a certain time to mourn and go on the rest of the day doing your work?"
Zane looked at her with confusion.
"Like you can decide to take some time to reminiscing your mom while not wasting the rest of the day? It will be effective. It worked for me. And if it doesn't, I'm here with you. Not just me. Leon, your friends, Lucy, even Cedric. I know I should have this sooner but I wanted to give the space to heal. But it's not working. That's why you need to let yourself heal by starting to go out again. Go to school, play basketball, come to work, go on dates with me, play with Leon, study, do everything you used to do. Once you get busy, the pain in your heart will start to subside. Not that you will forget Aunt Kalen, she will always be in your heart and your prayers. Just give life another chance. Do you understand me, Zane?"
Zane swallowed and took a deep breath, thinking about everything. Winter rested his head on her shoulder and stroked his head.
After five minutes or so, her anxious wait was finally over, and he spoke up, "Fine. I will go back to my previous routine again."
A smile formed on her face as she clapped happily and hugged him, letting his lips curve up slightly too.
"When does your result come out?" Zane inquired.
"Ah, that's what I came to tell you. It comes out tomorrow. Whether I get accepted for Boston University, I will know it," she said after pulling apart from him.
"What about Cornell University? Its result also comes out tomorrow, doesn't it?"
"Doesn't matter. I need to get into a university in Boston where you will be—"
"Winter, I thought I was being crazy, but you are even crazier. Cornell University is the best for hotel management, for your dreams," he spoke up.
Winter shook her head stubbornly. "I don't have any deep-rooted dreams. I only want to be accepted into a university which is near Harvard."
Zane huffed. "You are not making any sense right now. Why would you follow me there while sacrificing your own dream?"
"Why? Do you not want to stay with me? Can you stay away from me for three years?" she questioned and stood up, her voice getting louder. 'Answer me."
"I know it's going to be hard but it's not worth risking our careers."
"I'm not asking you to risk your career, Zane. If I don't get accepted into any of the universities in Boston, I will give up studying. I will start working—"
"Winter," he said, raising his voice as well, making her flinch slightly. "I will not let you do anything like that. You will only accept the university which is the best for your career, and I shouldn't be a consideration in that matter. Like I won't let my efforts go in vain, I won't let yours go in vain, either."
"You can't make that choice for me. If I want to follow you, I will," she argued. 'There is no room for any further argument."
"Fine. But I can make the choice for our relationship, right?" he let out.
Winter froze. "What do you mean?"
"In clear words, I will do whatever it takes for your best interest, even if it means breaking up with you."
"You... mean that?" Her voice cracked along with tears welling up in her eyes.
He looked into her eyes with tears brimming his eyes as well. "Yes, now it's your choice. No relationship or a long-distance relationship?"
Winter gritted her teeth and pushed back her tears, trying to digest his harsh words. 'You don't mean that, Zane."
"It's not like you love me or anything. It shouldn't be that hard to stay away from me," Zane added.
Winter chuckled humorlessly. "You are out of your mind. Let's talk when you are sane." With that, she walked out of his room.
Zane has gone mad. Otherwise, why would he suggest breaking up when he loves me so dearly? Winter thought furiously while running down the stairs.
Winter has gone mad. Otherwise, why would she want to go to a university in Boston when she can get a chance in a better university? Zane thought and pulled the blanket over his head.
They were both in a dilemma. Zane's concern for her future was making him blind to her love, and Winter's love for him was making her blind to his concerns. Now it was up to the two of them to either let the gap widen or solve the problem together.
