It was around midnight when Winter opened her eyes and was welcomed with the odor of disinfectant, and the first thing she heard was, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please wake up…"
"Zane?" she let out, recognizing that unforgettable voice.
"Winter, you are finally awake. Thank goodness." Even though she couldn't see his face, she could definitely hear the delightness in his tone. "I'll go and call the doctor."
After a few minutes, a doctor and a nurse came to check up on her and helped her sit up. They told her not to do such a thing ever again and suggested that she should consult a psychiatrist or at least try opening up to someone.
Once they left, Zane walked in. Her heart ached as she saw his slouched shoulders, disheveled hair, and pale face. She lowered her head in shame immediately, not wanting to look into his bloodshot eyes. When he sat on the stool near her bed, he took her hand in his ever so softly.
"How are you feeling?" Zane asked in a strained voice. He still was high from the raw emotions of almost losing such a precious and beloved person of his.
"Fine," Winter replied, staring at her lap.
"I see," Zane said.
There was a painfully awkward silence after that. The only sound that resonated in the ward was their heavy breathing and the slow drops of the IV.
"You didn't pick up my calls," Winter started after taking a deep breath, "Please give me a reasonable excuse."
Zane gazed at the bandages on the hand and said, "As much as it sounds like an excuse, I lost my phone."
"That's a relief." She sighed. "I thought you were ignoring me because I was annoying you with my calls," she admitted.
"There's no way I'll think like that, you know it, Winter." He gave a light squeeze to her hand and said, "Why did you do it?" When she didn't respond, he further said, "Look at me, Winter."
Winter swallowed and turned her head to meet the intent gaze that made her want to throw her arms around him and start crying like a baby.
Looking at her eyes brimming with tears, Zane kissed her knuckles and said, "You can tell me."
Winter shook her head and asserted, "No, you will hate me."
"Nothing will ever change my love for you, Winter," Zane told her. The terror of losing her also made him realize just how much he loved Winter and that he couldn't imagine his life without her in it.
"Promise?"
He nodded his head and said with a smile, "Promise."
"It's a long story," she warned.
"We have all the time in the world," he responded, making a smile crack on her lips.
"You would have to attend school tomorrow," she reminded him.
"Only heartless boyfriends would do such a heinous crime." He shook his head in dismissal.
"Come here." Winter shifted to the side a little and patted the place beside her on the bed. As he raised an eyebrow in question, she said, "I need to hug you."
Zane abided and sat beside her, letting her wrap her arms around him. She rested her head on his chest and made herself comfortable. Even though she was afraid to recall all the painful events of her life, there was a sense of security within her now that he was by her side. Yes, he wasn't there when she needed him the most, but that wasn't his intention. It was the circumstances that were cruel and unfair.
Winter sucked in a deep breath and started, "It happened on 26th April, the day my mom died. The day before that, I had yelled at her a lot, cursing at her for my miserable life. All the poison that had been brewing inside me came out all at once. I said whatever that came in my head without holding back."
Seeing her tremble, Zane patted her back in slow motion, giving her the time to pull herself together.
"Actually, the thing was, I used to be bullied at school for a lot of reasons. The main reason was that the man my mom was living with wasn't my birth father. They weren't married in the paper but he claimed to be my step-father at school. But I had told my friends that my mom and that person weren't married and he used to abuse me, so they thought I was a liar, who wanted their sympathy. Thus, eventually, I lost all of my friends."
"He used to abuse you?" Zane asked. Just the thought was enough for him to want to meet that person and beat the crap out of him. How dare he hit his Winter?
"Yeah, and my mom never believed me. No one did," Winter answered.
"What about that best friend of yours? Kimi, was it?" he inquired.
"She was one of the prime bullies. It's after my mom died, she befriended me out of guilt. Now, she's genuinely my friend, so I have forgiven her for what she did. Still, I can't tell her about my feelings because I feel like she might mock them," she let out.
Zane hummed in response, resting his cheek on top of her head. "What were the other reasons for bullying you?"
"My foreign appearance. I had green eyes, which freaked them out. They treated me like an alien. Most people there don't even know green-eyed people exist." She chuckled humorlessly.
"Are they crazy?" He scoffed in disbelief. "Your eyes are like the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. They must have been jealous."
"That's what you think," she pointed out.
"Please, I know I have a good choice, considering I chose you," he remarked, making her cheeks grow hot.
"As I was saying, I took out my frustrations for being bullied at my mom, who always used to be busy with her work while her boyfriend abused me. The next day, I came home from school with the mind to apologize to her when she came back home. But when I was drinking water in the dining room, I heard some shuffling in the kitchen. I rushed there and saw…" Winter stopped speaking and clutched his jacket tightly, her breathing going rapid. "It's scary," she mumbled.
Zane stroked her head and hugged her tightly. "It's okay. I'm here," he assured her.
Her breathing became stable after a minute, still, she kept a firm grip on his jacket and continued, "Mom had a knife in her hand. She was trying to kill herself. But when she saw me, she started screaming, 'It was all for you, yet'. She didn't complete her sentence and stabbed herself in the stomach with that knife. Her blood…" She started taking deep breaths, letting her tears flow. "It was all over the kitchen. I had her blood on me. I could have saved her. I could have stopped her. At least I should have called the ambulance first. But my mind didn't work for the first five minutes before I went to call for help from the neighbors. She died on the way to the hospital. Maybe I could have saved her. But I let her die."
Winter was a crying mess by then. "There was nothing you could do, and I'm sure there must have been other reasons for her to take such a step. You can't be the only reason," Zane told her.
"But she said it was all for me, yet… yet I was such a bad daughter," she let out, hiccupping. "I didn't know she was suffering from severe depression because of me."
"You don't know what she wanted to say, so don't assume it and torment yourself," he pointed out.
"However I look at it, I'm the one responsible, and everyone else thinks the same."
"What everyone thinks isn't always the truth," he said. "And I definitely don't think it was your fault alone. There must have been other reasons."
"You think so?" Winter raised her head and looked at him, blinking rapidly to make the tears dissipate.
"Yes," was all he said before pecking her lips. "You have shared enough for today. Sleep for now."
"Okay." She smiled as he stroked his thumb on her cheek, wiping her tears.
Zane lulled her to sleep by caressing her hair softly, holding her in his arms firmly.
As she was falling asleep, she thought how foolish she was to rely on cutting herself when all she needed was Zane's warmth and comfort to feel better.
°°°°°
After Winter fell asleep, Zane made her lie on the hospital bed. He tucked the blanket over her properly and kissed her forehead before walking out of the ward.
Zane saw David, sitting on the bench outside, his face buried his hands in a state of despair. Zane sat beside him and cleared his throat to let his presence be known.
David raised his head and looked at Zane.
"I want to know all about Winter's Mom's boyfriend," Zane said.
"You're jumping straight to the point, huh?" David retorted.
"I can't be bothered to talk with a person who can't treat his daughter like a human, but I urgently need to know about that man," Zane stated.
"You do know that I'm her father and you would need my blessing if you would ever wanna marry her?"
"I'll consider taking your blessing once you start acting like a father," Zane replied. He didn't bother asking how he got to know about their relationship. Then again, even a blind person could tell that he genuinely loved Winter from the way he was worried about her. "Now let's not waste time and get to business."
"She sure did get an insolent boyfriend," David let, making Zane roll his eyes. He exhaled a breath and started, "That man, Ahan Kin, is bad news."
"How exactly?"
David sighed and said, "That day, it was Winter who was supposed to die, not her mother."
