"What's going on here?" Carla asked, making Winter push Zane away by a few feet.
"Carla, it's not what you think," Winter blurted out. Feeling Zane's glaring gaze, she corrected, "No, it's actually what you think."
"Friends with benefit?" Carla arched an eyebrow.
"What? No. He's my boyfriend," the words rolled off her tongue on their own, yet she could taste the unfamiliarity in it. Even so, there was a sense of pride in it.
Carla shifted her gaze to Zane, who could die out of the embarrassment he felt. Should he be grateful that it wasn't her father who walked in or just bolt out of the house? In the end, he decided to face it. "Hello, Mrs. Weston. Sorry for intruding in your kitchen and for—"
"For making out in my kitchen?" Carla completed, making Zane go red. "Geez, Winter, you have a bedroom. Why here?"
Zane and Winter both squeezed their eyes shut, wanting the earth to swallow them.
"Stop being so flustered you two. I'm cool with you guys dating. Just don't let David find out," she told them. "Oh, great. You found the snacks I left for you. Happy birthday, Winter." She gave Winter a short hug as she thanked her. "I got to go now. I came to grab a file for the office. See you later." With that, Carla went away.
After they heard the main door close, they released a deep breath.
"Why do you hate her so much?" Zane asked, starting to stir the ingredients for the omelet in a bowl.
Winter sighed and replied, "Maybe because I just need someone to hate. I need to think that she's the reason Dad can't tolerate me." Zane waited for her to speak further. "I can't hate my dad from the bottom of my heart, no matter how hard I try." She formed her fist into a ball. "That's why I need someone to hate, someone other than me. If I don't blame someone for my misery, I feel like I can't hold myself together." Her shoulders slouched as she hugged herself.
Zane felt bad that she didn't have anyone to lean on other than herself before. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close.
"I'm such a bad person, aren't I? Always blaming someone else for my pitiful life." She chuckled bitterly. "I hate myself for being like this. I hate myself for hurting my body whenever everything gets too much. I'm so weak and worthless. I'm so hateful and selfish."
He continued patting her shoulder in slow motion, comforting her in a way she never experienced before. He quietly listened to her as she spoke further, getting to know her in-depth. This is what he wanted. For her to open up to him. Now he could start working on repairing her. At first, he needed to fix her self-hate.
In the meantime, the omelet soufflée was ready. Zane placed it on a plate and served Winter, who clapped her hands in excitement.
"It looks nice," she said and put one spoonful of it in her mouth. As soon as the flavor dissolved in her mouth, she had the urge to vomit. There was no salt in it.
"How is it?" Zane asked eagerly.
Winter swallowed the food in her mouth and flashed him a smile. She didn't want to hurt his feelings by saying how it actually tasted. "Wow, it's so awesome." She hurriedly ate a few more spoonfuls.
"Really?" His eyes lit up in delight. "I'm so glad I didn't screw it up. Let me have a taste too."
Winter pulled away the plate. "I don't wanna share. I'm too hungry."
Zane pouted. "I'm sure one bite won't hurt."
"No!" she protested and quickly finished eating it. "Damn, it was so good, I feel like I won't have to eat lunch."
Zane hummed and went to put the plate in the sink. He felt something was off about the omelet. When his eyes fell on the salt container, that's when it hit him. He forgot to put salt in it.
"There was no salt in it, was there?" he spoke up.
Winter stopped drinking water and lowered her head. "Sorry, I didn't tell you."
Zane sighed and leaned against the sink. He gazed at her softly and said, "How can you hate yourself when you're so kind? It's out of my comprehension."
Winter stayed silent.
Zane shook his head and started cleaning the dish. She got up and tried to take the plate from him. "Let me do it," she insisted.
"No, let me. I can't cook well, so I'm good at doing the dishes," he told her. She didn't oppose anymore and just observed him, which made her happier than anything else.
After that, they watched a movie in the living room to pass their afternoon. They went out for lunch in the nearby restaurant. On their way back, they decided to take a stroll in the park.
They were walking, hand in hand, talking about silly things.
"I always sleep during Christmas—" Winter cut herself off as she noticed a little girl crying. She let go of Zane's hand and went to the kid and asked, "What's wrong?"
"I lost my mom," cried the girl.
"It's okay. We will find her," Winter told her. "Zane, let's wait for her mom here for a while. Maybe she will come back."
"Yeah, sure. Let's sit on that bench," Zane told them.
Once they were seated, Winter started conversing with the girl to keep her mind off her mom. Her name was Alisha. When Zane noticed Alisha giggling, he started to chuckle by himself.
"Why are you laughing?" Winter asked.
"It's really out of my comprehension," he let out, making her arch an eyebrow. "Hey, kid, what do you think about this woman?"
"She's pretty," Alisha replied.
"Yes, I agree. Very pretty," Zane said, making Winter blush. "Anything more?"
"She's very nice and kind," Alisha said.
"And you are the best, kid." Zane turned towards Winter and said, "See? Even a kid thinks that about you."
Winter threw her head back in frustration and let out a deep sigh. "Zane, if you're thinking that if I don't love myself, I won't come to love you, either, then you are wrong. That's complete bullshit. I don't need to love my hateful self to love someone so amazing like you," she breathed out.
"Wow, I didn't even think about that notion." Zane scratched the back of his neck. "All the more reason for you to start loving yourself."
"You just missed the point, Zane," she said in a flat voice.
"The point is, you are the best person in the world for me," he stated.
"You're lying," she retorted.
"Why won't you believe me?"
"Because I only believe in what I see with my own eyes."
Zane released a deep breath, giving up. "The whole problem would have been solved if only you could see yourself through my eyes."
Winter's breath hitched at his words. "And how do I look from your eyes?"
Zane rested his chin on his palm and answered, "You look like a kind, beautiful, selfless, innocent girl, who's so very clueless that she never noticed my feelings for her."
Winter was dumbfounded. Was that how he actually thought of her?
Noticing the awkward silence, Alisha spoke up, "Can you two stop flirting in front of me?" Even so, it didn't break those two's intent eye contact. "My mom's here," was what made them snap out of their trance.
Alisha's mom thanked them a million times before taking off with Alisha. As Winter and Zane were waving at Alisha, a tiny snowflake landed on Winter's nose. She looked up to realize it was snowing. A huge smile crept on her face as she stretched out her hand.
"Ah, your first experience of snowfall," Zane commented, watching her grin like a little child with unadulterated joy. The more he watched, the more he fell for her.
"They say your love lasts forever if you confess your feelings during the first snowfall," Winter let out, twirling around.
"Says who?" Zane questioned.
"Korean dramas." She chuckled.
"I like you," he said out of nowhere, making her heart skip a beat.
Winter narrowed her eyes at him and said, "That was sudden."
"Just wanted to confess," Zane shrugged and started walking. "Let's get you home."
She sighed and followed him, smiling as she now knew what to name her teddy bear. He confessed indirectly many times, but during the snowfall, he confessed in clear words. That's why she wanted to be reminded of this moment when she looked at the teddy, so its name should be 'snow'.
The two of them walked in silence afterward, just enjoying the sight of snowflakes hitting the ground and melting.
Winter watched many people getting giddy about Christmas Eve on their way, making her feel sad as she would have to spend it alone. Even Zane would rather spend that day with his family. This year, she would feel even more lonely, now that she was kind of used to having people around her.
Noticing her longing gaze at the little kids, Zane understood what she was dreading about. He entwined their hands, making her look up at him, "Let's all gather up at the café to exchange the Christmas gifts."
Her eyes lit up like sparkling emeralds. "Can we do that?"
"Of course. Then you can have dinner with my family," he added, giving a light squeeze to her hands.
"Wouldn't I be an unwanted guest?" she mumbled.
"Didn't you see how happy they were to see you last time? They like you, so do I. So, stop hesitating. You can come over anytime," he told her.
"Thank you."
With each passing moment, Winter felt more grateful for not taking her life eight months ago. It was probably because she was waiting for this moment to come in her life, for Zane to come into her life.
