Winter opened her eyes to the dimly lit room. Though it was daytime the thick curtains prevented the light from coming in. She sat up and squinted, touching her dry mouth sticky with thick saliva. Slowly, a pounding headache made its appearance inside her skull.
"Ugh," Winter groaned. Once she got on her feet, the room swayed almost causing her to lose balance and fall back on the bed. Through her blurry vision, she noticed a piece of sticky paper on her phone screen.
She blinked a few times to adjust her eyesight before reading it.
"Alcohol dehydrates your body, so drink plenty of water or juice or lemonade to get rid of your hangover. Have a hearty breakfast; it will help you feel better."
There was no name on the paper, but the messy doctor-like handwriting gave away its owner. Somehow, Winter got chills—his concern seemed cold.
Winter got up and stumbled her way to the washroom to splash cold water on her face just to feel something refreshing, and instantly wished she could wash her brain free of the toxins too. The mirror showed her red-rimmed eyes, disarrayed hair, no longer with the glamor from last night. Her gaze landed on the denim jacket she was wearing; that's when it all came back—all the embarrassing memories just from a few hours ago.
Winter let out a mortifying scream.
"Shit, shit, shit. I need to leave the earth right away. Immediately. Fuck, how do I unexist?" She panicked, running around the bathroom frantically.
"Oh, my gosh! Zane must now think I am a slut. No, no, first things first. What will happen to me now? Where am I going to live from now on? Should I start packing my luggage already? I should probably quit my part-time job too. I can never show my face to anyone ever again. God, I want to be reborn again," Winter cried out, letting herself fall on the bathroom floor.
After a while when she was done freaking out, she checked the time. It was ten in the morning. Thankfully, it was Sunday. Otherwise, she would have missed her classes. But unfortunately, she had her part-time job that day from the afternoon, meaning there was no way she could avoid seeing Zane.
Knowing it was better to get embarrassed sooner than later, she prepared herself for work. As she was leaving through the living room, she tiptoed to the main door and ran out as fast as she could, stepping out of the porch. She knew she would have to stay undercover in her own house for the next few days.
Outside the sun was shining bright yet the weather was mild, so Winter decided to take a walk to the café, enjoying the pleasant weather. Reaching the back alley of the shop, she peeked her head through the backdoor, looking out for Zane.
"What are you doing?"
Winter squeaked at the sudden voice from behind her and placed a hand on her chest. "You scared me!"
"Oh," that was all Zane said before walking in through the door that Winter opened.
Winter exhaled a breath and pulled a smile on her face. "Good afternoon, Zane. How are you feeling today?" she asked, trailing behind him.
"Good," he replied, opening his locker and putting down his things inside.
Winter scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "By any chance, are you mad at me?"
"No."
You clearly are, Winter thought. Zane didn't smile at her like he usually did. He didn't even ask her how she was doing and was giving curt replies. "Oh, that's good." She also opened her locker. "By the way, I'm sorry about last night. I wasn't in my right mind—"
"It's okay." Saying that he walked past her to the changing room with his uniform, leaving her dumbfounded.
Winter inhaled a deep breath, telling herself, "It's fine. He's probably not in a good mood. Yes, that's the case. He's not avoiding me."
After a few hours had passed in their workplace, Winter realized how wrong she was. Zane was in his usual mood, chatting with Leon like always—the only change was he wasn't looking her way at all.
"Zane," she called out, standing right beside him.
"Leon, why didn't you come to the party last night?" Zane pretended as if he didn't even hear her, making her jaw drop to the counter.
"Susanne's parents weren't home, so she called me over," Leon said. "You guys didn't even text me where I was, or why I wasn't coming to the party last night," he added with an eye roll.
"Sorry, I was busy handling some business," Zane told Leon.
Winter narrowed her eyes at him. Was he referring to her just as some business? She was about to speak up but was interrupted by him once again.
"Let's get back to work quickly," Zane said and left with Leon.
"Just what did I do to him last night?" Winter puffed her cheeks. As far as she remembered, she didn't do much, except feel him up, dance with him, whisper in his ear seductively, sugar-coat his name, yell at her parents, and the list goes on. What if she had done something she didn't remember?
Winter gasped as a mild possibility nudged her mind. What if she had tried to force a kiss on him while being drunk?
°°°°°
Sunday rolled by, and Wednesday had arrived, Winter had no idea why Zane completely avoided crossing paths with her. If he did, it was always a cold greeting between them. And she still wasn't sure if she had had her first kiss yet or not.
But today, she was determined to get him to speak to her. As she marched out of her campus, eager to see him with his cycle, waiting for her near the crossroad. Much to her disappointment, it was Leon, instead of Zane.
The smile on her face dropped drastically. "I know you are disappointed, but don't be like that with me," Leon commented.
"How can he just ditch me like this?" Winter let in frustration. If there was something that he was angry at her about, he should just say it outright like he always did. She didn't think he was that immature.
"How can you think he would ditch you?" Leon said in disbelief, and Winter looked up in surprise. "Zane didn't come to school today, neither would he come to work. His mom is sick. That's why he told me to give you a ride to the café." He added with a chuckle, "But he forgot my cycle doesn't have a backseat."
Winter was speechless. She felt so low of herself.
Seeing her upset expression, Leon patted her on the shoulder and said, "I know I treat you as my sister, but Zane is my best friend, and I know him better than anyone else. He would never run away from a responsibility he took. Rest assured."
Winter nodded, and the two of them started walking. She was silent for a while before asking, "Do you know why he is avoiding me?"
Leon made a thoughtful face and said, "Are you hiding something from him?"
Winter halted on her tracks and looked at the ground. There were so many things that she hadn't told anyone, let alone Zane. "Couldn't it be just that he's angry at me for something I did?"
"If that was the case, he would have told you right away. He's probably waiting for you to share what you are hiding."
"Are you sure?"
Leon hummed and said, "This happened to us before. I didn't tell him about my parents' divorce for a long time." Winter glanced up at him in shock. She could have never guessed Leon's parents were divorced. He was always so goofy and cheerful.
I guess everyone has their own monsters to deal with, she thought.
Leon continued, taking a sharp breath, "So when he got to know it from someone else, he was really mad at me and didn't talk to me for almost a month." Leon chuckled at the painful yet fond memory. "All in all, Zane hates secrets and lies between the ones he thinks are close to him. All you need to do is share your worries, and he would give his utmost to support you."
Winter bit her lips, well aware that she was guilty of both charges.
°°°°°
Another week passed by, yet there was no communication between the two of them. Winter wasn't ready yet. Having no one to talk with until now, she didn't know how she should put it.
Winter and Zane were both cleaning up after everyone had left. The silence was painful.
Zane glanced at Winter through the glass window and heaved a sigh. "You know," Zane spoke up, almost giving a heart attack to Winter, who was not expecting him to talk at all. He was trying his best to avoid her but seeing how miserable she was with no one to talk to, he couldn't help it. "If you ever feel low or upset, you should talk to someone."
"Talk to who?" she asked.
"It could be anyone. For example, Leon talks to me when he's down, Lucy talks to Cedric when she's down. In your case, you can talk to whoever you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be me."
"Then why are you angry if it doesn't have to be you?" Winter gazed at his blue eyes with her green ones.
"Because you lied."
"Lied about what?"
"Your mother… she didn't die in an accident, did she?"
Winter gulped and turned around to avert her gaze. She gripped the rag in her hand tighter, closing her eyes tightly. "I-I don't want to talk about it."
Zane exhaled a deep breath and said, "It's okay. I will wait for you to say it yourself."
There was a small silence, with both of them working quietly until Winter cleared her throat. After a lot of thoughts and sleepless nights, she had already decided that she was going to start out slow. At first, admit her lie.
"Zane," Winter called out and he hummed in response. "I'm sorry for lying that my mom died in an accident. She had actually committed suicide. I'm still not mentally ready to tell you why she did that but someday I will surely let you know," she said in a breath.
"Sure. Whenever you feel ready. Sharing your feelings is good for mental health. It will help you overcome whatever you are fighting. When it all gets too much, you don't have to say anything. You can just hug me." As soon as he said that, Winter ran into his arms, hugging him tightly.
"No cold treatment anymore, then?" her voice was shaky as she spoke.
Zane chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. "Sorry for hurting you for the last few days. It was just as painful as for me, and I'm never doing it again."
"You better not," she mumbled against his chest.
Zane placed a kiss on the crown of her head in response. Never had he ever felt this much frustration before when he was trying to avoid someone. It was like he was stomping all over his own heart. He was firm that he wouldn't be the first one to start the conversation, in the end, he couldn't take it anymore.
But being able to embrace her, he thought nothing else mattered all that much. Everyone has secrets, but they spill it sooner or later either way. He was eager to know hers and help her get over it. She needed that push.
All the time that he spent dodging her, made him think more about his feelings for her. He only wanted it to be a crush, but he understood that it was more than that when all he could do was think about her all day, wondering if he was doing excess and hurting her for no reason. And now he was sure of his current. feelings. He liked Winter.
