|| Arabella ||
It has been a month since my accident. I had healed up quite nicely, except my right hand was still in plaster. It would take two more weeks for it to heal, but I still wouldn't be able to do heavy cooking for months with this hand, so my part-time job was out of the question.
The more days pass, the more I realize what a costly mistake that night was.
Another cruel reminder of it was Lisa's memorial service today.
I was secretly glad when I didn't have to attend Lisa's funeral due to still being hospitalized back then. But now, I was dreading the memorial service. Despite not being very close to Lisa since she didn't go to our school, how would I face her?
Even though she was the one who insisted on driving the most, I wasn't going to speak ill of the dead and push the blame on her. I should have stopped her. Then none of it would have happened. We could have killed a pedestrian in that accident as well.
I didn't realize that I was staring at my reflection in the dressing table for long until I felt cold fingers brush against my back, hooking the bra that I had been unable to do, then zipping up my black dress.
Theo wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, resting his chin on my right shoulder since the left one was still recovering from being dislocated. "Are you ready?"
I shook my head and closed my eyes, letting the tears that had gathered fall out with a forced smile on my lips.
"It's okay. Take your time. I'm right here," he assured, and I leaned back into his hold, letting myself bath in the comfort and security he offered.
After a few minutes, he asked, "Better now?"
I nodded, and he let go of me while smiling.
"Let's go then."
———
The whole ceremony was unbearable. Though gripping Theo's hand tightly made it a little better, it was still painful.
Near the end of the service, Lisa's mom started to speak. I wasn't paying attention for the most part until she mentioned, "—today the girls who were with my daughter on the night of her accident are here. I'm thankful that you all could come."
I glanced at Coral who was sitting right beside me with the same grim expression as me.
Lisa's mother continued, "I'm sure you all must be going through a tough time, but I just want to let you know that, if any of you is blaming yourself for not stopping Lisa from driving that day, then you shouldn't. Lisa has always been reckless with her life. She took light of her life. Maybe… she had it coming for herself.
"Therefore, please don't blame yourself, and take a lesson from her. Don't ever risk your life again. Take care of yourself. Surely, you don't like seeing your loved ones cry for you, do you?"
I glanced at Theo through the corner of my eyes. I knew he suffered internally during the time I was in the hospital, and even now, he was trying so hard to make everything comfortable for me.
For the last month, he has been doing the cooking, helping me dress up, giving me notes from school and helping me understand them, comforting me when I wake up from nightmares, and taking care of me in every possible way. And he didn't complain once.
Since there was nothing I could do in return for him in my condition, I tried to remain happy for him, because he once told me that my smile motivates him to keep going.
And now, after hearing Lisa's mom's words, I realized that I had to start afresh. I needed to let go of the heavy, negative feelings and let myself be surrounded by positivity like before. If not for my sake, for the sake of my loved ones.
When I shared a look with Coral, I had a gut feeling that we were thinking the same thing.
After Lisa's mom's speech ended, Theo glanced at me, and I smiled at him.
He seemed to have been caught off-guard for some reason. "Why are you smiling?"
"I always smile," I told him with a pout.
"Yeah, but you haven't been smiling properly recently, that's why."
How naive of me to think that he wouldn't that I was putting up a fake front of being happy. No wonder he would ask me a dozen times a day if I was feeling okay.
"Maybe. But I'll try my best from now on." I flashed him a big smile.
Theo smiled as well and mumbled, "I'm glad to hear that."
———
Finally, my plaster was off, and I was freely able to move my right arm.
When I got out of the doctor's chamber, the first thing I did was jump on Theo's back from behind by wrapping my arms around his neck. It felt good to do that.
Though there was still a faint pain in my elbow, it was fine.
After that, Theo dropped me home and said that he had to go for his football practice, otherwise, his coach would kick him out of the team for skipping so many matches and practices.
As I was left alone at home, my mind sparked with ideas to do things for Theo.
The first thing that came to mind was Valentine's Day, though I was a month late for that.
I couldn't do anything for him on our first valentine's day. He made all the arrangements, even pleased me all by himself while I could do nothing with my broken right arm and dislocated left shoulder.
That's why I decided to decorate the whole apartment after texting to check if Wyatt was coming home tonight. Thankfully, he was staying the night with Coral since her mom was out on business.
I sent Clover to our next-door neighbors since I didn't want her to interrupt or knock over any candles.
I pondered for a long while whether to cook or not, but reaching the conclusion that it would only make Theo mad, I ran away from that idea.
It was around seven in the evening when Theo came back. "I'm home," he hollered from the door right when I finished touching up my makeup.
I grinned at myself in the mirror, feeling sexy at my own appearance. I never thought I would have the confidence to wear this body-fitting red dress Coral made me buy on a whim.
When I came out of my room, I saw Theo looking around in confusion at the dimmed lights and scented candles with food on the coffee table, but when his eyes landed on me, he froze.
"Oh, my God, what's all this, Ara?" he asked.
I smiled at him and slid my arms around his neck, making his duffle bag drop on the floor. I pulled him in a slow kiss before he could ask anything else. When I parted, I whispered in his ear, "It's for you."
I heard him inhale sharply as he asked, "Why?"
I pulled back a little to look him in the eye to say, "For being there for me through thick and thin. For not abandoning me. For taking care of me. For being such an amazing boyfriend. For everything. I don't know if anyone will ever do as much as you've done for me, that's why I wanted to do at least something for you."
"So this is your way of repaying me?"
"Why, you don't like me like this?"
Oh, God, what if I became too bold and was now freaking him out? Maybe this wasn't his idea of enjoying—
"Are you kidding? I would have to be gay to not like you like this," Theo said with an eye roll which made me laugh lightly. But my laughter was stopped midway when he captured my lips in a heated kiss.
I let myself take steps backward until the back of my knees hit the couch, then tugged him down on the couch with me. I was gasping for breath by the time he let go of my mouth and trailed his lips down my throat, leaving red hues in his wake.
"Do you want to do it here or in the bedroom?" he asked while peppering kisses on my neck.
"It's your day, so wherever you like."
I could feel him grin as he murmured against my skin, "Here then."
———
After our love-making on the couch, we were both cuddling with each other with a blanket on top of us. After a while, my stomach started growling.
"Ah, shit, I strayed from the plan," I mumbled.
"What plan?" Theo asked curiously.
"We were supposed to have dinner first."
"There was no way that plan was going to work with you looking like that." He rolled his eyes.
I hit his chest playfully and sat up to heat up the pizza. I grabbed his shirt from the carpet and was about to wear it when he said, "I've been wearing that the whole day. You sure you wanna wear it?"
I nodded and continued buttoning up. The shirt was mixed with the fading fragrance of musk, a lot of his distinct scent, and a little bit of sweat. It was perfect, just like having him around me.
I made my way to the kitchen to heat the pizza and came back to find that Theo had set up the movie I planned to watch and made a comfortable place for me to sit beside him with cushions and a blanket.
Placing the pizza tray on the coffee table, I settled beside him.
Theo was about to play the movie when I remembered that there was something I had to say to him.
"Wait," I called out, and he looked at me briefly. "I've something to tell you."
"Go ahead," he casually said and leaned forward to grab a slice of pizza.
I was nervous, but I had to get it out of my system. "I'm sorry."
He stopped eating, which urged me to continue.
"I'm sorry for getting you so worried about me that day. I'm sorry for scaring you. I'm sorry if I made you think that you were going to lose me. I'm sorry if you had to shed tears because of me. I'm sorry for being so stupid."
"Mm-hmm."
"I know that saying sorry won't do any good. It won't take back the turmoil you went through because of me or bring back anyone's life. But I don't know what else to do." I hated that I was crying already, but just being in his presence made me want to be vulnerable, to put everything out in the open.
"For starters, you can promise that you will never do something like that ever again."
"I promise I'll never do anything like that again. I'll be more cautious. I'll not make you worry ever again," I said eagerly.
He finally looked at me, smiling, and brushed my bangs from my forehead. "That's good to hear."
Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed with emotions, so I just hugged him tightly. "I love you. I love you so much. I don't know what I would do without you."
"Me neither." He kissed the top of my head and whispered, "And I love you too." I couldn't help but relax.
No matter how many times I heard those three simple worn-out cliche words, they would never get old. I could keep hearing them, and they would keep making all my worries and pain wash away every single time.
When I was recovering in the hospital a month ago, Theo said that it was a miracle that I made it out alive. Considering how unlucky I usually was, death's door was already open for me. But he brought that miracle into my life.
I looked up at him and said with a smile, 'You're my miracle, you know?"
He chuckled and bumped his forehead with mine, 'Shocking. I was thinking the same about you."
'How so?"
'I never thought I could love someone so much that I would be willing to do so much for them and yet feel like I'm not doing enough. Your love gives me strength when I fall weak, so you are my miracle."
I smiled widely and said, 'Fine, we are both miracles to each other."
