ARGUING
Violet POV
Well, I guess you weren't expecting anything about me, but you guys really have to know more about me. You see, being the only girl in the midst of six boys was never what I wanted.
Like I did have a choice to pick who I wanted as a parent or siblings. If only it was by choice, I would have wanted more sisters than brothers.
Gosh, they're so annoying. They all pampered me and took care of me like a princess, well I was their princess or still am, but they did it as if I shouldn't be broken, you know, like if I fell on the floor, I would break like a glass plate, I never had a lot of friends growing up.
If not for Jason's and Williams' parents being family friends, I don't think I would have had anyone except for Dani.
You see, growing up always has and will always have a crush on Jason. I wanted to tell him how I felt, I mean, I even tried telling him, but that night I heard him telling Williams something, "you see, bro, I don't like girls forcing a relationship on me; I actually hate it when a girl confesses to me, you know, by saying I love you and such, I fucking hate it, I mean, how do you want me to reply you when you've said that? You caught me off guard, and I don't like that," I could not tell him how I felt after I heard him utter such words.
I would be so embarrassed if I got rejected by him. Not like I haven't rejected many people, I even did that to my best friend, don't get me wrong, I do like Dani, but she's not actually my type, no offense, though.
She's like a bad girl that always wears shorts and all that, while I am the kind of girl that loves girls that have soft skin and wears dresses.
You see, Dani is kinda like a dominant person on the bed, and people like that need submissive people to have sex with, that's what I believe, and so you know, I'm actually a dominant person, nobody knows this about me, I actually go to a gay bar to pick girls up, I make sure I show them what heaven feels like.
I mean, all the girls I have had sex with were always submissive to me, so when Dani asked out, I would have really love to be her girlfriend, but I am always thinking ahead, especially on the sexual aspect, am kinda a sex addict nobody knows this about me, not my family or even twin brother, and I like it like that, even though they tried monitoring my movement, I still found ways to sneak out of the house.
I love having sex a lot; I don't think there's a day I go to school that I don't touch myself, either in an empty class or the toilet. I do it every day. I was so ashamed I didn't even know who to tell.
I know most of them will laugh at me if I tell them about it. I really don't get what is wrong with me, maybe it's that hormonal teenage stage, but I thought only boys have that? Or I am just horny, well, extremely horny.
So I try to occupy myself with something else, like reading and going out. If I'm home alone, I won't be able to stop myself from touching my body.
So when these beautiful twins came to our school, and I started talking to Maddy, I knew she was the submissive type.
I wanted to have her. I wanted to know everything about her. So I told Williams we should start making bets on them. I mean, this way, I would gather a lot of information about Maddy.
Gosh, just thinking about her right now makes me wanna finger myself. She's so pretty, well, they both look alike, but I admire Maddy a lot.
When she found out about everything, I was hurt when she refused to talk to me. I even wanted to tell her the truth about why I was placing a bet; I didn't mean to hurt her; I was just trying to gather information.
The same applies to Avery; I really liked her, I wanted her to be my girlfriend, but when I tried telling her the truth, she had told me that she was in love with Williams. Like, what the hell do they see in him? I kinda hate that bastard.
Sometimes I wished we never met him at the park where he was being bullied by some kids. Maybe now all the girls I wanted would have been mine.
I know I am at fault here, but I sometimes don't know how to control myself, and I only feel okay when Jason holds my hand and also Maddy.
I want her to be mine. I got so jealous when I saw her always talking to Dani. Even though I warned her on who Dani was, she still wanted to be close to her. When will I ever be enough for someone?
You know there was a time I tried killing myself, yes I did. I did it the day I found out Avery was hospitalized; I was devastated; it was all my fault that she was in a coma. I wanted to just die, I started cutting myself with a blade, but I felt nothing.
I was so happy when Dani told me she woke up, but Avery could not forgive me. There was Susan as well, yes, the whore. I liked her as well, but she was never going to be mine.
I got mad when she slept with Jason, but what made me lose it was when she slept with most of my male friends. I got so angry that I started cutting myself again, but when the twins came around, I stopped, thinking I would have a chance with Maddy, but as it is going, I don't think she will ever forgive me.
So here I am, cutting myself again. I don't feel any pain; I am just so numb.
