As we got out of the car and I followed him, I looked at the bucket of popcorn in my hands, feeling frustrated.
Who knew what had happened?
Just one day, no, half a day, and the roles between Arthur and I had completely reversed. Before, I was the one who wanted to do something, and he obediently followed me.
Now, it was him who decided what we'd do, and I carefully came up with excuses to reject his plans.
The initiative had briefly been with me, but now it was entirely in his hands... or perhaps it had always been his to begin with.
I tapped my head, unwilling to admit it. Genius is genius.
He was truly very smart.
He perfectly controlled people's hearts.
"What are you thinking about?"
He slowed his pace, waiting for me to catch up before suddenly asking.
"I think you're a bit too clever."
I told him honestly:
"Just this morning, it was still you listening to me."
"Now, it's become me following your rhythm, like I've been played by you, completely losing control."
"You're wrong."
Arthur chuckled softly:
"Control has always been in your hands. My logical analysis only applies to rationality, but emotions aren't purely rational." He pointed his finger gently to my heart:
"This, here, is where the real control lies."
The wind was cold, and the sky was chilly. His fingertip pressed gently through my thick coat, right on my heart.
"Your heart's racing," he whispered.
"Lily, are you still going to deceive yourself?"
---
"Are you saying that I've fallen in love with you?"
I couldn't help but furrow my brow. "No, this is just..."
"This is just a temporary reaction, brought on by emotions, causing your heart to beat faster, but it doesn't necessarily mean love."
He spoke softly:
"What I want to remind you of, Lily, is that you still feel something for me. You don't dislike me as much as you think. My name, it's a stamp of pain in your heart, but even so, you still feel something for me."
"This means those other painful memories aren't as important as you think. You've never been able to let go of the past. Is it because those things are too powerful to forgive, or because you fear them and don't want to face them... Lily, are you still going to deceive yourself?"
"I fought with your father because of you. If only you were a man, if only you were as excellent as Arthur..."
"You got beat up at school? Serves you right, why only you and not others? You must have brought it on yourself."
"Bring bad luck! A useless burden! Lost all my money playing cards because of you!"
"Ugh, I'm so unlucky! How did I end up with such an idiot..."
My mother's face twisted as she lunged at me.
I jerked awake.
The air conditioner hummed in the room, and I wiped the sweat off my forehead. I pulled out my phone to check the time.
It was 2 a.m.
I got up and went to the living room to pour myself a glass of water.
Looking at the stack of doll sets next to the couch, I thought for a moment before sitting down cross-legged on the floor and started unwrapping them one by one.
I tore into them violently, not caring as little combs, clothes, and toys spilled out. I just took the dolls out and lined them up.
I stared at them for a long time, my eyes getting sore.
Since I was little, they had always told me: I was weak.
I was useless. I was stupid.
I was worthless.
After hearing it for so long, it felt like maybe that was who I really was.
I picked up the pale blue princess dress beside me, chose the prettiest doll, and carefully changed her into it.
After dressing her, I used a hair tie to twist up her hair, added a crown with tiny diamonds, a necklace, a bracelet, and put on sparkling crystal high heels.
The doll stood in front of me, looking all polished, her smile radiant.
"Am I afraid of you?" I asked myself.
"Lilyana, are those people really worth being afraid of?"
No, they weren't.
But I just couldn't control myself...
"Can I really defeat you?"
In the empty room, no one could answer me. I could only tell myself:
"Yes."
---
The next day, when Arthur came over, I was curled up asleep on the sofa.
The password lock — he didn't even ask me, just guessed the code and got it right. He kindly reminded me: "You really shouldn't use your birthday as a password."
I was woken up, sleepily scratched my head, and watched him busily put on an apron to make breakfast.
"Are you that bored?" I couldn't resist teasing him.
"Same age as me, yet how come you don't work and still have so much money?"
"We're not the same."
He pointed at his head: "I make my money with my brain."
"...Go away!" I cursed him angrily.
I went back to my room to wash up and get ready. When I came out again, there were two plates of bread on the table.
I took a bite, hesitated for a moment, then looked at him. Just as I was about to say something, he interrupted: "If you're going to ask about your psychological issues, forget it. I don't want to talk about it."
"...But you talked so much about it yesterday?"
"I'm not a professional therapist. I just thought that sometimes, things can't be solved without confronting them. You couldn't figure things out, so I pointed them out for you." His voice was soft:
"I didn't want to talk about it either. It's annoying. If I say too little, you won't believe me. If I say too much, you'll think I'm pretending. I've said enough already. What happens from here on out is up to you. I won't interfere, and I won't bring it up again."
I was about to nod when I heard him continue:
"But there's one last thing I suggest you consider."
"What?"
"Having a child."
I froze, staring at him.
Arthur smiled and pushed a glass of milk toward me.
"A child is the fastest and most effective way to establish a connection with this world," he said.
"Have her, raise her the way you want, give her everything you never had, make up for the regrets in your life. Isn't that a good idea?"
"Of course," he added.
"I'm just offering a suggestion. As for what you do or don't do, that's entirely up to you."
"Now, let's go see a movie."
He took the half-eaten bread from my hand and, just as my thoughts were lagging behind, switched the topic.
[Perhaps quick thinking is a trait of geniuses.] I told myself.
