I threw up again today.
My whole body ached, and I bit my lips until they bled.
When Evan saw me, he asked what was wrong.
I told him I accidentally bit them while eating.
He didn't believe me.
But he still fed me mouthful by mouthful at noon.
Evan brought someone to see me.
Later, I found out from the nurse that this person was a well-known doctor in the field.
Very hard to get an appointment with.
Turns out Evan comes from a family of medical professionals.
Our bookworm Evan was actually a medical prodigy.
While the doctor examined me, Evan stayed by my side.
He pursed his lips, with no extra expressions on his face.
But when I touched his hand, I realized how cold it was.
Later, the doctor looked at my report and called Evan outside.
They talked for a long time.
After a long time, Evan came back in.
Actually, I knew my own body.
But I still couldn't bear to see Evan like this.
He had cried, but he cleaned up any traces and tried to show me a positive attitude.
He smiled and patted my head, saying that my condition had improved a lot.
Evan's smile was so ugly.
His dimples were filled with bitterness, yet he still smiled.
I nodded and asked him to come closer.
He obediently listened.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, just like how he had hugged me many times before.
My vision was already blurry.
But I still blinked, trying to see him more clearly.
I tilted my head up and kissed his lips.
His lips were as cold as his hands.
I kissed his mouth corner again.
"They say a kiss makes the sadness go away."
"Evan, this is my first time kissing someone, so you can't be sad."
I couldn't see anything anymore.
It hurts.
It hurts so much that I cry.
Evan kissed my eyes.
A tear fell onto my forehead.
Mixing with my own tears.
When Cyrus came, I asked my mom to leave.
I called out his name.
This was the first time I spoke to him in a long while.
He hesitated for a moment before responding with a soft "Yes."
I asked him if he could take care of my mom for me.
I said, look, you take care of my mom on the earth here, and I'll take care of your mom in the heaven there; isn't that fair?
He didn't answer for a long time.
I couldn't see anything, so I pursed my lips and continued speaking.
I said, if you don't take care of my mom, I'll hate you the moment I see you in the next life.
Cyrus really did fear my hatred.
He agreed.
His voice trembled when he agreed.
Cyrus told me that the most painful thing in the world is regret.
But he regrets it deeply.
Regretting everything he did to me.
Regretting not realizing it sooner, and by the time he wanted to like me, there was no chance or time left.
He said if he had another lifetime, he'd definitely start liking me right from the beginning.
I said no.
I said I've already decided to be with Evan in the next life, and I don't want to see him at all.
He was silent for a long time.
Finally, he smiled sadly and helplessly, saying, "It's okay, as long as I get the chance to properly like you once."
Evan held me and told me funny stories about his projects.
Listening to him, I couldn't help but laugh.
I tugged at his clothes.
"Evan, you have to become a really, really great doctor."
He laughed and pinched my nose, asking, "How great is really, really great?"
I thought about it seriously and said, "Great enough to be able to cure me."
Silence fell over the hospital room.
Evan kissed my mouth corner, choking back sobs as he said yes.
The weather outside has been really nice lately.
I often asked Evan and my mom to wheel me out to bask in the sun.
When my health really declined, I basked through the hospital window.
This world was so beautiful, it's hard to let go.
Actually, I've lived quite happily.
I have a mother who loves me.
I've truly cared for someone and liked someone.
And I've been genuinely liked by someone.
I've eaten a lot of delicious food.
I've visited many beautiful places.
It's just that getting sick later on was painful and a bit of a downer.
I trust that Cyrus will take care of my mom.
And I believe Evan will become a really, really great doctor.
So...
I've lived quite happily.
It's been raining a lot outside, drizzling continuously.
I asked Evan to read the weather forecast to me every day, saying I didn't want to choose a gloomy day.
So he quietly said that all the days ahead would be rainy.
Evan is a silly one.
Although I'm blind, I'm not deaf.
I can hear the birds outside and the laughter of children in the distance.
Evan lied to me.
As punishment, I bit his lips when I kissed him.
I told Evan that I originally wanted to live to tomorrow which would also have a plenty of time to express farewell.
But, I didn't have the strength anymore now, and I couldn't continue insisting.
Sorry.
The sky has cleared up.
