All afternoon, Elise sat at her desk, thoughts circling around the pleasant dream she'd had during her nap in the conference room, and the vision of her confessing to Braden last night. She found herself wondering why she was having these dreams at all.
Her mother's words before she left the house lingered, making her question things. Was her relationship with Braden really different from just friendship?
But it had always been this way for her. Except for those times they'd both been dating and kept some distance, they'd always been this close. Now, with neither of them attached, why shouldn't they spend time together like this?
Day in, day out… The thought startled her, yet it wasn't untrue. Whenever she was bored, she'd call him, see what he was up to. If he hadn't eaten, she'd invite him out for a meal or to hang out. Usually, their friend Ruth would join them, but lately, she'd somehow forgotten to invite her.
Wait, when had their trio started becoming a duo?
Another thing she couldn't quite understand was how she'd started disliking Mylee's presence, especially in meetings, where she seemed intent on staking her claim as if she and Braden were a couple.
A whole afternoon of these thoughts left her feeling restless. When she came to, she realized she'd barely done any work, so she resigned herself to taking the unfinished script home to work on.
But instead of going home, she found herself standing outside another tall office building, looking up at it. She didn't understand why she was here, outside H Information, where Braden worked.
Had those eleven roses really cast a spell on her? Since she received them, she'd felt something strange stirring within her. Sometimes, she just wanted to talk to him. Even with nothing in particular to say, she'd find random little things in her day to share.
At some point, she realized she might be depending on him even more than before. Today, she'd even wondered—if he got a girlfriend someday, would they ever be able to spend time together as freely as they did now?
She knew that day would eventually come, but why was there this faint ache in her heart? They'd both dated other people before; this wasn't anything new…
But why was this feeling just now surfacing, hitting her rationality so hard?
What did she even hope to gain by coming here? She didn't know. Elise shrugged. She had no idea either.
Maybe… she just wanted to see him.
After waiting nearly ten minutes, Braden finally emerged from the building's security office. He'd barely stepped into her line of sight when a woman joined him. It was clear as day—it was Mylee.
Mylee seemed to be trying to say something to him, but he didn't look back or slow his pace.
Yet, after a moment, he did turn around, as if to respond. But just as she reached out to grab him, he quickly stepped back a few paces.
Elise watched them for a long time, fragments of memories flickering to life, and in her mind, she heard Baden's voice saying, "There won't be a next time."
What wouldn't happen next time? She didn't understand. By the time she refocused on him and Mylee, they had disappeared from sight.
She was shocked—when had she lost them?
Or… were they actually on a date?
A strange ache filled her heart. Deciding not to torment herself further, she paid for parking, grabbed her car, and drove off.
Maybe she should focus on work, keep her mind on next week's business trip, instead of going back and forth, unable to figure out what she really wanted.
She had just gotten home when Ruth, who hadn't called in days, suddenly rang her. She answered in a hurry.
"Have you eaten? I got a giant tub of pudding, your favorite matcha latte, a family-sized bucket of fried chicken, and then there's..." Ruth looked at all the things she'd brought, grinning from ear to ear.
But whatever she said next, Elise barely heard. Her mind wasn't really on this call.
They shared the same last name, yet the call wasn't from the one she'd hoped it would be.
"Elise?" Ruth pulled the phone away from her ear, glancing suspiciously at the screen.
They were still on the line, but why was Elise so silent?
"Huh?" Elise finally reconnected with reality. "Oh, sure, where should we eat?"
Ruth thought for a moment. "I was going to go to my brother's, but he seems busy today, so... want to come over to mine? Or should I come to yours?"
"He's busy?" Elise recalled the scene she'd witnessed outside his office with Mylee.
"Yeah, though I don't know what he's up to." Ruth responded innocently, "Forget about him. Let's just eat by ourselves."
It was actually a blessing he wasn't around. Otherwise, he'd lecture her to death about eating that giant tub of pudding.
"I'll come over to yours, then…" Elise's voice carried a hint of weakness, and there was a touch of sadness in her heart.
"Sure." Ruth didn't notice anything off. After confirming the arrangement, she hung up the phone.
Putting on her coat, Elise grabbed her bag and keys, ready to drive to Ruth's house.
On the way, she found herself thinking of Braden several times, recalling that dream where he only had eyes for her. His possessiveness in the dream had made her feel his deep affection, overflowing with love.
It dawned on her, belatedly, that her feelings for him weren't just the fondness of a close family friend. It was something more—a kind of affection that made her wonder what he was doing, miss him, and look forward to his replies.
She realized, over time and through their interactions, that she had come to like him, without ever noticing it.
Or perhaps, she never considered this feeling to be love, instinctively viewing it as the natural reliance that had grown from their constant friendship since childhood.
But he had made it clear long ago that he would never have romantic feelings for her. So, even if she liked him now, he would likely only find it troubling.
Perhaps it was being alone in the car that caused her thoughts to unravel, disrupting her rhythm. The more she dwelled on this unrequited love, the mist in her eyes grew heavier, and no matter how much she struggled, her heart ached.
Hadn't she already known this? Yet now that she fully realized it, the pain was undeniable.
Secret love hurts, but unrequited and hopeless love hurts even more.
Lost in her troubled thoughts, Elise finally arrived at Ruth's house. She saw Ruth wearing glasses, her hair tied up in a ponytail, dressed in a white and black polka-dot pajama set with shorts, holding a tub of pudding and eating without a care, waiting for her arrival.
Inside Ruth's home, the soft yellow light created a cozy ambiance. The walls, painted with a sky-blue and white cloud pattern, were supposed to be cheerful, but in Elise's eyes, they appeared as nothing but a dark void.
She thought, is this what it means to be depressed? To see everything as colorless and dull?
"Why did you suddenly crave fried chicken today?" Elise broke the silence, hoping that by talking more, she could distract herself and maybe feel a bit better.
"Let me tell you, the drama I'm following today had such an intense episode! The main character's caught between two guys, and one of them confessed his love to her, so she agreed to date him. But then, she realized she didn't like him at all and actually likes the other guy! She's planning to break up with her boyfriend today," Ruth explained, still digging into her pudding with a spoon. "Honestly, I hope she ends up with neither of them because she's being too unfair."
"Mmm..." Elise replied half-heartedly.
Her body was here, but her mind had drifted somewhere else.
"Aren't you hungry? Eat something!" Ruth pushed the fried chicken bucket toward her. "Have more, I can't finish this on my own. I got it just for us to share."
Elise looked at Ruth's kind gesture with a sense of helplessness, reminded of when Braden had picked her up after work and bought her a hot milk tea. Her nose stung with emotion.
She waved her hand in front of her face, trying to prevent the warmth in her eyes from gathering into tears, fighting against the flood threatening to spill.
"Alright." Elise took a sip of the matcha latte and found it bland and tasteless.
The weight of her hidden sadness was too overwhelming; everything she did felt dull. No matter what she drank or ate, she couldn't taste the original flavor of the food.
Watching the female lead on the TV screen finally confess her love to the man she cherished, only to be gently rejected, Elise felt as if she were right there with her. She couldn't help but think it mirrored her own fate; if she were the one confessing, she would surely be turned down as well.
Although Braden always jokingly told her he would never like her, and she thought the same, never letting herself be swayed, perhaps it was destined long ago that she'd fall for him — maybe as early as when he agreed to be her fake groom, even taking a slap from her father for it.
At least she couldn't find another man who would give as much as he did without ever asking for anything in return.
He let her take all she wanted, the only thing she couldn't attain was his heart.
Thinking that perhaps they could no longer be as close as before, or maybe even end things altogether, the tears that had been held back began to fall slowly.
She thought she could keep her emotions in check, preventing Ruth from noticing her distress, but perhaps because of their deep friendship, the tears only flowed more freely.
In the end, she bowed her head, covering her face as she wept.
The drama subtly transitioned to reflect the female lead's sorrowful mindset, showing her crying as well, which matched Elise's current mood. Ruth assumed her tears were simply because of the show, hurriedly grabbing a pack of tissues and handing them to Elise.
"Oh no, why are you crying?" Ruth was truly startled, gently wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Is it really that moving?"
"Yes, it's really touching… and so sad…" Elise didn't dare reveal her true feelings, so she quickly improvised, going along with the storyline.
"Should I change the channel, then?" Ruth reached for the remote with her free hand, switching to a cartoon.
Unexpectedly, she landed on Crayon Shin-chan, where Nene was playing an ultra-realistic house game, and the storyline was just as tear-jerking.
She hurriedly turned off the TV to avoid landing on yet another emotional scene.
"I'm fine, really, you didn't have to turn it off…" Elise lifted her head, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. She tried to smile but ended up blending it with sorrow.
Ruth looked at Elise in astonishment. Clearly, her tears were like an unstoppable faucet, she didn't look fine at all!
But comforting others had never been her forte, and she had no idea how to console Elise.
She clenched her fists, lightly tapping each side of her head, pondering for a long, long time before recalling who usually handled situations like this.
Finally, finding a solution, Ruth stealthily took out her phone and sent a message.
She didn't care what he was doing. As soon as she sent that message, he had to come over, no questions asked.
An hour later, Ruth excused herself to take a shower, leaving Elise alone on the couch to process her emotions.
The doorbell rang, breaking the solitude of Elise's thoughts. Surprised, she wondered if Ruth had invited someone over, but through the peephole, she saw Braden waiting outside.
She opened the door, too stunned to speak.
He didn't… leave with Mylee, did he?
"Maybe this will stop you from crying," Braden said with a gentle smile, holding her favorite strawberry cake.
"How did you know…" She shouldn't have spoken; just saying it caused her emotions to burst, leaving her unable to hold back her tears.
Unaware that he was the source of her sorrow, he silently entered, took her hand, and led her to the sofa, signaling her to sit.
He set the cake box on the table, pulled on the ribbon to undo the bow, opened the lid, and gave her a glance.
"I bought this especially for you. Don't even think about saving it for Ruth," Braden said with a seriousness that left no room for refusal.
She stared at the cake, mumbling, "But why did you come? Don't you have plans with someone?"
"Plans with who?" Braden seemed to have an epiphany. "When Ruth called, I was picking up my mom from mahjong. You know how much she loves playing."
"Weren't you with Mylee? I saw her following you." She let it slip unintentionally, regretting it a thousand times over in her mind.
He rested his left hand on his chin, glancing sideways at her. "Did you come to my office to look for me? Why didn't you call me?"
"I…" Elise found the worst excuse. "My phone died."
But she forgot—he knew her too well, she rarely let her phone run out of battery.
She was definitely hiding something from him, but he thought, there was no need to expose it.
"Then can you tell me why you were crying?" Braden asked clearly. "It couldn't have just been a TV show that made you cry this hard, right? Even seeing me made you cry."
"Who told you to show up suddenly? You startled me," she pouted, trying to keep up her usual banter with him.
Admitting that she liked him was something she could never say.
She feared that saying it… would ruin their friendship.
"How did I just 'show up'? I came here just for you. Did you think I was here for Ruth?" He stated his purpose without hesitation, though it sounded a bit ambiguous.
Elise gazed at him in a daze, seeing him through a lens of admiration, feeling a mix of happiness and slight sorrow.
Could the days of happily being together like this already be counting down?
Counting down to the day it would end.
