I woke up to the sound of the waves slapping against the shores of the beach and my eyes gently opened to the gentle morning sunshine. A smile settled upon my face for absolutely no reason at all and my heart felt airy and lightweight. I made to stir but felt a hand over my body, cuddling me close to a hard chest.
I smiled again. Connor.
I shut my eyes for a brief second and felt his warmth behind my back. I turned carefully to face him on the bed, our faces almost touching. I watched the fall and rise of his chest as he slept soundly and the child-like pout on his lips. His hair was ruffled and tousled to his face.
He was...beautiful.
I brought my fingers to his face and felt his nose and lips. The perfect features they owned. I swear I was more than lucky to be his woman.
His eyelash fluttered and I immediately retracted my hand and pretended to be asleep. I watched him discreetly as he opened his eyes and stared at me for a few seconds until a smile broke from his lips.
"You are not a good pretender, you know." He said.
Oh my God. He knew I am only playing fake and I wasn't sleeping.
I peeled my eyes again to meet his hazel grey ones and he grinned
"Good morning, beautiful." He gave me a peck on the forehead and did not move from his position on the bed.
"Good morning, you." I kissed him on the lip.
"Did you dream about me?"
I chuckled. "Why would I, when you are right beside me already?"
His hands reached for my stomach and he placed a hand over it.
"And this? Do you even get morning sicknesses?"
"Sometimes."
"Does she kick yet?"
"You mean he?"
"I am confident it is going to be a she. We should get you to the hospital for some checkups."
"Is that necessary?"
He laughed and his dimples popped up. "Of course. Let's get you registered when we get back home, okay?"
I nodded. "Okay."
We kept silent for a minute until I spoke again.
"Does your mother know about this?"
"What? Us?"
"No. The pregnancy."
He took a few seconds before he answered.
"No."
"Why?"
He frowned like he did not understand the language I just spoke.
"You want me to?"
It was my turn to frown now. "Well, yea. According to the contract."
He looked at me as if he is surprised by my statement.
"The contract? You still think about the contract?"
His questions were surprising and I wondered where I am misunderstanding things.
"Uh...yes," I replied and he shut his eyes briefly and let out a deep sigh.
"Alright. I'll tell her about it."
But his answer did not feel right. There was something I was missing.
He turned his back on me and sat at the edge of the bed. Before I could say another word, he added,
"Get dressed, Kenz. We are leaving now."
"Are you sure you're okay, Connor?"
"I'm fine." He replied, getting up from the bed and picking his shirt from the floor. "We should leave."
I knew he was lying. He was not fine. He was mad at me.
...........
We drove in absolute silence and Connor did not utter a single word to me throughout the ride. I knew he is mad. He was so bad at hiding it.
Having had enough of his silent treatment, I sighed and decided to confront him.
"Connor. What's wrong?"
"It's nothing, Kenz." He sounded like answering me was a tiresome task and if anything, he wouldn't even want to speak with me.
"You're lying." I maintained and he ignored me and focused on the road.
"Connor..."
"Fuck, Kenz!" He yelled at me now, causing my heart to leap in fear, his hands clenching tight to the steering wheel so that I could see his knuckles whiten. "Do you ever listen?"
"I...I..." I stuttered and he blew a frustrated air through his mouth. He was mad at me for a reason I did not even know of.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I could only whisper, my tone was weak and shaky.
He still did not reply to me.
"Does it make you happy seeing me sad?" I asked again and his jaw tightened.
"Stop it, Kenz."
"I won't. Until you tell me why you choose to hurt me."
"That's bullshit, Kenz. Please stop saying that already."
"Then tell me why you're mad at me." I insisted.
"Stop talking, Kenz."
"I won't. You tell me you are in love with me one moment, and the next thing, you are treating me like a piece of trash."
He looked at me, irritation in his eyes.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Stop playing the victim, Kenz!"
I looked at him confused. "I'm playing the victim?"
He looked back to the road again and wet his lips. He wasn't going to answer me again. But I was not simply going to accept that I was the cause of this if he wouldn't tell me where I went wrong.
"You are an asshole, Connor. "
He looked at me, thrown off guard by my words.
"Stop the car. I want to get off here."
He looked back to the road again.
"What are you saying, Kenz? We aren't even close to the house."
"I don't care," I replied. The last thing I want is to be in the same car with a two-faced monster. "I want to get off this car now."
His jaw sharpened even more and he accelerates the speed of the car. My heart beat hitched and I began to fear that any moment from now, we would crash into something.
"Let me off, Connor!" I yelled at him now but he acted like he did not hear me and continued to drive at a full super dangerous speed. I could feel the sharp air cut through my hair and I grew more terrified.
"If you don't let me off, I swear to God, I am jumping off this car." I threatened him and he swerved the car to the right, missing a truck by an inch. He parked the car by the roadside with a sudden stop that caused both of us to jerk forward off our seats.
I breathe fast and tried to catch my breath and he did the same. I fixed my hair and stared at him, my eyes getting wet with tears. I could not believe he would play with my life this way. Just a few hours ago, I thought he was the angel. My guardian angel.
Now, I was not sure anymore.
"I...I...I'm sorry, Kenz." He said as he tried to catch his breath too, his eyes still fixated on the road.
"Fuck you, Connor." I pushed the car door open and slammed it shut behind me, picking my pace and walking away in no direction at all.
"Kenz. Kenzie!" Connor called after me as he got off the car too and shut the door behind him.
He caught up with me and reached for my hand but I pulled my hand away from his hold.
"Stay away from me!" My voice trembled with rage.
"Kenz. Please, listen to me..."
"I don't want to listen to you anymore," I yelled at him, the tears in my eyes blinding my vision. "When I wanted to, you didn't even care to listen to me. Instead, you almost got us involved in a crash."
"I'm sorry, Kenz. You were right. I am an asshole." He tried to hold my hand again but I wouldn't let him touch me.
"Of course, you are."
He ran a hand through his hair. "I feared that you were still interested in the contract and that...everything you are doing, every moment you are spending with me is all because of the money."
I stared at him as he speaks, my eyes furrowed in a frown.
"I felt...used, Kenz. And I know...I should have told you about it right from the beach house..."
"We are no longer doing the contract?" I asked, utterly confused by the whole playout of the situation.
"Why should we be, Kenz? Why should we when Tory does not exist anymore...?"
"And Jessie?" I ask. "What about her?"
He stared at me and looked at his feet before looking back at me again.
"Jessie...she...I..."
"Connor." I stopped him from talking further. "You said it yourself. There is no 'us'. As long as Jessie is in the picture and remains the woman your parents want for you, there can never be a 'us.'"
He looked at me and scanned my eyes.
"Kenzie..."
"I am not doing any of this because of the contract, Connor. I would never have slept with you if it was only for the contract. I slept with you because I fell in love with you. And I don't regret anything." I could feel tears trace down my cheeks.
"It hurts me, Connor. It hurts me that I can never be with my first love. It hurts me so much that I cannot have what I want. I might not be the type of girl that was good enough for you but I know what I deserve. And I would not sit back and watch my child go through the same thing. So, yes. I am still interested in the money so that I can give my child the life he deserves. Not the pathetic one I have lived my whole life."
He grabbed me close to him as soon as I finished talking and hugged me to his body. I let him hold me this time and cried on his shoulder as he pet my back gently.
"I won't let you suffer, Kenz. I promise you that."
