KENZIE
"Kenz."
I heard Connor's voice overhead the deep waters I was drowning in and I tried to reach for the surface but the wave was strong and I was only pushed back further.
"I am ashamed of myself. Ashamed of facing you. I have a confession to make. I am a coward. I am a fool. But I want to protect you. I want to keep you safe. It is scary how much I am willing to do for you. How far I am willing to go for you just so I can see those rare sparks in your eyes when you are happy. It is scary how much I...love you."
The voice began to fade and my heartbeat, afraid of being left lonely in the waters by myself again. I shut my eyes and forced myself to the surface and with all my strength, I gave it one last push my head finally submerged from the water I gasped for the air I had been deprived of for what felt like an eternity.
I flicked my eyes open as I tried to adjust to the transition from a world of total dense darkness to the sunlight that hit. my eyes from the windows, I scanned around the unfamiliar white walls of the large room to be greeted by the sight of medical pieces of equipment that surrounded me in the room and I knew where I was now. My heart skipped a bit at the realization.
Why was I in a hospital bed? What happened to me?
I could feel the warmness of another presence close to me and I looked at my side, past the blue hospital gown I had on, to see Connor sleeping beside me, holding my hand. His head was rested on the bed and he sat on the chair. I tried to sit up and opened my mouth to call out his name but my throat felt parch dry and sudden sharp pain in my stomach caused me to fall back to the bed and moan in pain.
Connor stirred from the noise I had caused and when his eyes opened and he landed his sight on me, he jerked awake and got up from his seat.
"Kenzie." He sat beside me on the bed, leaning closer to me and felt my face. I looked at his face and worry crossed my heart as I took in the bruises on his face.
"What happened?' I whispered, reaching for his hand, my mouth still feeling dry and hoarse. I could hear the cracky huskiness of my voice. I glanced at his hands and his knuckles had a bit of redness and purple bruises on them.
"You were hurt but you are a strong person and you made it through. Calm down while I go get the doctors." He let go of my face and left immediately before I can stop him and tell him I was directing the question to him and how he had gotten the bruises on his face and knuckles.
Seeing that I was all alone in the room, I stared at the ceiling, trying to remember how I had gotten here, surrounded by hospital walls and syringes and antiseptics.
For how long had I been here?
The door opened again and Connor returns with a doctor and a young nurse. I caught my breath as Zed and Jojo walked in from behind them.
"Kenz." Zed rushed to my bed and held my syringed hand. His eyes were red and he looked like he lacked sleep. "You are alive."
I rolled my eyes at him.
"Of course, I am silly." I cringed my eyes at him and looked intently. "Zed Hadid. Have you been crying?"
"No." He sighed again and stroked my hand gently. "I haven't."
I raised my eyes to Jojo who only watched me from her distance. Her hair was a mess and she had dark circles underneath her eyes.
"Hi," I said to her.
"Hi," Jojo replied and sniffs. I was disappointed she didn't even try to get closer.
"Now, if you would excuse me, I have to check my patient." The doctor gave me a sweet smile and Zed got up, giving space for the doctor and nurse to do their job.
The doctor smiled friendly at me and ask how I am feeling.
"I feel weak. And I've got a headache." I moved my hand to feel the bandage on my stomach where the wound was. How to wonder how deep was the injury? "And this hurts too."
"You are a strong woman. You'll be completely fine in no time." The doctor smiled at me again as he examined my eyes. He felt my pulse and moved on next to examine the drip. He seemed to be a man in his fifties or so and with the way he spoke so kindly and with warmly, I was sure he would be a good father if he got any child.
"Your wounds seem to be healing so fast, miss." The doctor says. "It's also a miracle the baby was unharmed."
I narrowed my eyes in the puzzle as he spoke A baby? What baby?
I concluded I didn't hear him right. Perhaps he said my boobies?
I smiled thankfully at his assurance and when I glanced outside the glass windows, I saw the kind familiar faces of Miranda and Suzy watching from the window. Miranda almost cried as our eyes met and a hand flew to her mouth just in time. My heart fell at the sight and when Suzy also offered me a smile and mouthed a 'hi', I looked away again and back to the doctor.
"You will be placed under close medical supervision for a few days. You will be discharged when we see any improvement from your side." The doctor looked at Connor this time. "Please, ensure she gets enough rest and doesn't engage in any level of stress for the time being."
Connor nodded. "Yes, doc."
When the doctor left, I threw a glance at Miranda who had a wrap of tissue dampening over her eyes. I looked away again from her pathetic state.
"They said they were friends of yours." Connor joined me again, sitting on the bed beside me. "But looking at the way you don't even acknowledge them, It doesn't seem so true. Do you even know them?"
I moved my sight to Jojo and she had her arms wrapped around herself. It hurt me that I was the reason she did not smile the way she used to. Or that she now went back to the shell she thought was her protection. And worst, it pained me that I was going to hurt her again.
I looked away from her and back at my nails. "Yes." I bit my bottom lip. "My supposed birth mother and sister." It felt weird hearing this coming from my mouth. The only people I had ever considered families were Jojo and Zed. No one else.
"Your what?" Zed was the first to ask, his tone full of disbelief. I did not even bother to look at any of them in the face.
"My birth family."
..................
Miranda was my mother. Suzy was my older sister and I had a twin who was dead. As much as I tried to believe this was just a soap opera, I could not. Everything clicked. Everything connected like a puzzle. From the day Miranda had reached out to me, telling me I looked everything like her daughter. How she had always sounded regretful and treated me like someone she knew before. It all made sense now.
"So, what you are saying is...that woman and her daughter over there are your real family?" Zed drew every of his word as if he was trying to catch on to something he had missed from my previous statement.
"I didn't say they are my real family. I am only saying they are my birth family." I gulped and wet my lips. "I am a twin. My identical twin died two years ago from cancer."
A sarcastic scoff escaped Jojo's lips and once again, I was glad that I wasn't looking at any of them in the eye. I am sure that if I did, their faces at this present moment would haunt me forever.
"Well, then. Big congratulations on finally reuniting with your real family." She scoffed again. "And congratulations on your recovery. I am out of here." She whipped around to walk away and stopped immediately. She faced me and I still refused to look at her face.
"And for the record, Kenzie. You suck. Big time. You and your new happy family." She finally walked away and Zed muttered a curse under his breath before he ran out of the room to chase after Jojo.
My insides fall and I fel5 tears weld up my eyes. I felt like the shittiest person on the face of the planet and wished I had never woken up from the coma I was in. Maybe I should have even died from the stab.
Someone had stabbed me. A man. And he had said it was from...Ryan. Ryan had sent someone to attack and kill me so he could silence me once and for all.
I bit my lips in fresh rage.
Connor took my hand into his and gave them gentle squeezes, bringing me back to reality. I stared into his hazel grey eyes and just like the others, they looked sleep deprived. I lingered my gaze on the small cuts and bruise on his upper eyebrow, beneath his eye and on his lip. What had happened to him? How long did I pass out?
"It was Ryan," I said instead. "He hired someone to attack me."
Connor sighed and nodded his head. "I knew the same thing. I'll make sure he pays for what he did to you, Kenz. I swear on my life, I will protect you with my last breath."
"Is that why you got yourself hurt?" I asked him. I was unsure if my suspicions were right. If he had fought with Ryan. "Is that why you went to him?"
He looked at me closely, his brows furrowed together.
"How did you...how did you know that?"
I was right. He had gotten himself involved in a fight with Ryan. Because of me.
"It doesn't matter." It was my turn to squeeze his hands now. I reached for his face with my other hand and traced my fingers along the cuts and bruises. "You shouldn't have. Ryan is my enemy. Not yours."
"I promised I was going to protect you from him, Did you remember? And yet, I failed...."
I shook my head, cutting him short. I would not have him blame himself. It was all on me for storming out of Miranda's place on my own without a moment of logical reasoning. It was all me for leaving Connor's place and believing Tory's lies.
"Please don't blame yourself for any of this, Connor. Don't."
He sighed and plays with my fingers.
"I've tried not to. But I can't. For two nights since you have been in that coma, I haven't stopped blaming myself for what happened to you. Not even for a second. It's all my fault, Kenz. "I shouldn't have let you off on your own. I could have stopped you from leaving and I did not." He looked at me. "Please forgive me."
"It's not your fault. Don't be so hard on yourself." I squeezed his warm hands back.
"I'm sorry." He repeated himself.
"I'm sorry too."
He gave me another smile and stared back at my hand again. I wondered what kind of thought was running through his mind right now.
"Did you know about the pregnancy?"
I frowned. "What pregnancy?"
"Your pregnancy. The doctor said you are two weeks gone."
