Calm gentle rays of morning sunlight hit my eyes from the window as I blinked my eyes awake. As my eyes adjusted to the light, It took me a moment to realize I was in Miranda's place. I tossed and turned lazily, wrapping the blanket around me.
I extended my hand in the direction of my phone on the nightstand and picked it phone. I stared at the screen and the time read 9 am. I wondered how I managed to sleep for so long yesterday. My heart sank at the empty notification on the screen of the phone.
There were no calls. No text messages. No attempts from Connor to reach out to me.
I checked within myself and realized I was no longer mad at him about what Tory had said about the both of them. She had lied and I was so sure about that.
But I still felt a fresh anger wash through me. I could not believe he wouldn't try to reach out to me even when he knew I had left the house and didn't come back yet. Was this him playing an i-care-less card or did he not give a damn about my welfare at all?
I groaned in frustration and rolled the blanket over me again, going under the sheets until I was completely covered from head to toe.
Why was I starting my morning with the thought of him? What was happening to me? At this moment, I wished I could have my old life back when my thoughts when limited only to money and dresses and breaking other people's love lives.
I let out a short gasp and my hands flew to my mouth. My eyes protruded as the thought kicked in the biggest idea. What if the reason for my messed-up love life was that I had done the same to other people? Maybe I was hurting because I had hurt other people in the past too. What if this was karma catching up with me?
A cautious knock came on the door, cutting me off my thoughts and the person pushed it open without waiting for my consent.
Suzy's bright cheerful face greeted me.
"Good morning, sunshine."
I gave her a polite smile, hiding my annoyance pretty well. "Good morning, Suzy."
"Did you have a good night's sleep?"
"Yeah," I answered, then decided to act nicer and add something. "Just that it was pretty cold last night."
Suzy nodded knowingly, a sympathetic smile on her face "I'm sorry. I should have gotten you more blankets."
"It's nothing. I'm fine."
She nodded again.
"I'm glad you are. By the way, mom asked me to come to fetch you for breakfast."
I nodded and pulled my weight to sit on the bed. "Okay. Give me a minute."
She lingered, her hand still hanging from the door knob and I knew it was an indication that she was willing to wait till I was done so I would follow her. I got up from the bed and slipped on my slippers from underneath the bed. She flashed me another smile as I told her I was done and she led me out of the room to the dining area downstairs. When we got to the dining table, Miranda was already seated and spreading some avocado over her toast. When she heard us coming, she raised her eyes to meet us. A type of Suzy's smile appeared on her face in acknowledgement.
"Good morning, Kenzie. Did you sleep well?"
I nodded my head, feeling childish about the colourful pyjamas I had on. She had picked it from Lisa's closet and asked me if I could wear it for the night. It was a pastel pink and baby blue striped pyjama set that reminded me of girls who starred in Korean movies and the first thought I had was that Lisa was a colourful person.
Lively and vibrant and not as cold and dark as me.
'Yes, Miranda. Did you?"
"Of course." She handed me a toast as soon as I sat and I thanked her and took a careful bite. Suzy dragged her seat from beneath the table and sat close beside me. I found it quite odd and funny at the same time, how Suzy was always trying to get close to me.
Was she beginning to develop sexual feelings for me?
"Do you read, Ari?" Miranda asked as we ate.
"Sometimes." I shrugged.
"What kind of books?" It was Suzy who asked this time.
Here goes lover girl again. Arrghh.
"Contemporary romance. Crime and thriller sometimes. And a bit of fantasy and poetry too. I'd say my taste in the book is simply...just here and there."
"Cool." Suzy sounded impressed as she stared at me with great interest. Pure adoration is written all over her eyes.
I swear to God, she was in love with me.
Last I checked, I was a hundred percent into men. I loved dicks and men. So, no. It was a no-no for me and sexual exploration wasn't exactly my kind of thing.
"Mom has those kinds of books in her study." Suzy continued. "I could take you on a little book tour in her study if you'd like." Suzy offered I looked at Miranda for any hope that she might be against this but my hopes crush when she nodded in approval.
"Sure. If Ari wouldn't mind as well."
I was tempted to say I did mind. To lie that books were not really my thing or that I had a phobia for too many books. But I knew that all of those excuses sounded lame, even in my ears.
After we finished breakfast, I spent the rest of the day with Suzy and Miranda at the house, both of them cheerful and vibrant. I took a small tour around the house, my eyes meeting a few framed pictures of the two of them hanging on the walls. Somehow, I was disappointed that Lisa's photo wasn't anywhere to be seen. Was she photo-phobic?
During the night, Suzy did not waste any more time taking us upstairs to Miranda's study. Inside me, I feared that she has plans of making advances on me. I felt a bit regretful that I didn't pick up a table knife back in the dining to use as a self-defence weapon. I did not mop, though. I made another plan to aim at her nipples when I have to hurt her and run away to protect myself.
When we entered the spic and span spacious room, I was astonished at the number of books that greeted us, piled up high on the wide bookshelves. There was a large desk at the far end of the walls, that had so many lockers and a computer and vintage typewriter adorning the table. There was also a small cute bucket that held some basic stationery in it. A map of the world hung from another part of the wall. I couldn't deny how impressed I was with the aesthetics of the study.
"Do you read erotica?" Suzy asked and my head snapped at her word.
Was she already planning the sexual escapades she would have with me?
"No," I answered almost immediately and without delay.
Her eyes sparkled in excitement like a child about to share her newest secret or toy. "You really should give it a try. There are big dicks and tight asses in there..."
I felt my throat tighten and I choked on my breath at her words. How do people even feel comfortable talking about things like this?
But I did not have enough time to ponder as my cough increased, causing Suzy to stare on in alarm.
Fuck, bitch! It's all your fault!
"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"
The cough persisted and I felt myself burning red from the tension in my throat.
"Fuck. I'm so sorry, Ari. Let me go get you water." She ran out of the room the next second and I coughed on. The cough gradually subsided a few seconds after she had left and I tried to catch my breath again. What kind of weird woman was Suzy? Why was she trying to drag me forcefully into her world?
Somehow, I wouldn't deny that I could see a bit of a grownup Jojo in her but I rejected it immediately.
Jojo was weird. Not crazy.
As I waited for her to come back, I wondered how long it was supposed to take her to get me water. What if the cough hadn't subsided and I was choking to death?
Now, I knew I couldn't trust my life in her hands.
Detective, my foot.
With a frustrated sigh, I walked in the direction of the study table and let my fingers meet with the typewriter, feeling the aesthetic under my fingertips. I smiled at its beauty and Miranda's taste in good things. My eyes wandered to the too many drawers the desk had. Were there so many books inside these too? More stationeries maybe?
In curiosity, I reached for the top drawer and pulled open drawers and the first thing that appeared in sight was a small photo album arranged neatly inside. I cautiously picked the photo album from its drawer, curious if this was Miranda's family album. Since it was obvious she was a very private person, I figured the best way that I could get to know more about her was through this photo album because I doubted she would want to introduce me to the rest of her family sooner. I scanned the cover of the album which had a small inscription in the centre that read:
Memories.
I squinted my eyes at the date on the book and proceeded to flip open the photos. The first was a photo of Miranda with a baby. She looked younger and leaner and malnourished and then seemed to be in a sort of local maternity. The next photo caused me to squint my eyes and narrow my gaze at the picture of the girl who looks too identical to a little girl photo I had once seen back at the orphanage. It was a picture of a little girl with a large cake that read ten. Miranda looked healthier and a bit of herself here and a teenage Suzy in bob hairs and a ball gown was standing beside the child, a happy smile on her face.
And the little girl looked like a child I knew who had taken a photo for her birthday in rags and a running nose and without a cake, save for a single balloon a friend had given to her.
That little girl was...me.
I quickly flipped to the next photo. Here, the little girl was a little older now. This time, my heartbeat began to accelerate at the sight of her image. The odd familiarity was beginning to get a bit overwhelming. I flipped to the two next photos, feeling my palms beginning to turn glazy, not knowing what next to expect. The fourth photo was of a teenager now. My stomach tightened at the image in front of me and my chest burned with fear.
She looked like...
I flipped to the next photo of the girl in her graduation gown. A large bright smile on her freckled face, her dark hair arranged in a neat ponytail.
Me.
My heartbeat stopped for a brief moment and I flipped carelessly to the next photo and my eyes stared widened and unblinking at the image of the girl again. She is seated on a stool, posing the same way I had done for Faris's shot. She had a small smile on her face and there was a small inscription at the bottom of the page and I looked at it.
The day summer died.
My fingers trembled as I flipped to the last page of the album and here, my heart shattered into a million pieces. It was the same girl in a hospital bed, an oxygen tube in her mouth, her hair scanty and fallen out. She was pale as well and looked critically ill.
Lisa.
There was another small inscription at the bottom of the page and I looked at it.
August 21st 19998- May 2nd 2018
I could feel my eyes begin to water.
August 21st 1998. My birthday. The day she was born too.
I hurriedly flipped back at the teenage photo in a new air of frenzy and the image of myself popped into my head. I didn't just look like her.
I was her in another life.
